COH: In 2008 We're Gonna Work On That Trait!

In 2008, We're Gonna Work OnThat Trait!

Announcing COH Takin' Out The Trash!

TO: COH Everywhere
FR: The COH Takin' Out The Trash Team

We have discussed many times in the COH support group about how so many adult COH identify with the Adult Children of Alcoholic's (or Dysfunction) list of traits.

So we've identified the problems...in the New Year we will be working on the SOLUTIONS!!

On the first of each month we will be posting a different trait of Adult Children on the COH site home page & in the COH support group, that many COH have said they identify with, and we are going to work towards overcoming it.

Yes, that's right-you are going to actively work on trying to beat it! We hope we can get some of that trash bagged up in our head's and dispose of it! Even if it's just a small plastic baggie's worth.

Notice how we said "working on," not "conquering." We are just going to TRY. Put out some effort. There is no pressure to be perfect and you aren't a dismal failure if you haven't squashed a trait you've been carrying around your whole life in ONE month! Trying to do things perfect is what gets our parents, and a lot of us, in trouble.

All-or-nothing, black-and-white-thinking is no good. So we are going to simply...try. In doing so, we may become more comfortable in that Grey Area, betweeen the black-and-white. Striving for perfection can be paralyzing-we see that in our parents. Well, we aren't going for perfection here, just a bit of effort to help us move forward and get that positive self-talk worked into our automatic thoughts!

We hope that those of you who need to work on the trait focus of the month will post to the group (if you choose) any steps you have taken on working on it; progress made, tips for others that worked for you, recommended books or articles for self-help, and anything else helpful or just plain inspirational! If you want to share a challenge you are having, we are here to discuss it and support you. (We'll also have a thread going at the Family Community, for those of you that prefer the forum format for discussion.)

You won't be judged. This is not a test that will be graded. This is *Your* personal journey. As we also see with our parents, the greatest success comes from taking responsibility for your own healing. What could be more empowering, emboldening, and creative than that? But, at the same time, it would be nice and less lonely to share the journey with others working on the same issues too.

We have a team of garbage collectors behind the scenes for "COH Takin' Out The Trash" and we hope you will be a part of it and put them to work hauling away tiny baggies or Hefty bags full of dysfunctional thoughts *we COH* have got, so we can set great examples for our children, and live happy and (inner) peaceful lives as adults!

This is going to be great. This_is_the_year to try! Watch for the first trait we are going to work on January 1st posted on the COH home page or in the Group!

-The COH Takin' Out The Trash Team*

*non-mental health professionals-this is not a medical or academic program/system/framework-
We are other COH empowering ourselves to work on bagging up our "trash," too.
This information should not replace the care or diagnosis of a medical professional or therapist.

Sneak Peek into January's Trait for 2008

The theme song for the month is going to be:
"Roll With The Changes" REO Speedwagon
"If you're tired of the same, old story, turn some pages..."