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Welcome to our Community
This community on the Children of Hoarders (COH) website is intended for those of us who grew up in households of/currently has, parents who hoard.
We exist to support our members in any way we can, to provide support on the difficult issues caused by hoarding in our families.
Often when a new member joins, their burning questions are
"How Do I Get My Parent To Clean-Out?" , or "When/How Do I Intervene?".
Before you do anything to try to help your hoarding loved one, be sure that you are helping yourself first. Take a vacation, find a good counselor, take time to appreciate your spouse, your friends, your children...Don't forget to focus on yourSELF too.
Unfortunately, there is not much of a track record of successful forced hoarding interventions. In most cases, significant interventions seem to require a major trigger, like an immediate health crisis or a citation for violating housing/zoning laws or building codes. Even then, the pattern tends to be a short-term, "big bang" cleanup, followed by a slow slide back into squalor after the crisis has passed if the Hoarder does not seek professional treatment and support. (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy & Exposure Response Prevention, or, CBT & ER/P).
There has been some success with treating hoarders, but the therapy tends to be extremely time consuming, much more than just a 45 minute session every two weeks. Even then, it only seems to help if the hoarder already admits that there is a problem (has insight) and if they are motivated to change. Online support groups are great resources for people who hoard, but they have to recognize they have a problem to participate, and many of our loved ones don't think they have a problem.
Commonly we hear: "You can't control other people; you can only control how you react to them, and yourself."
If your parent is in a situation where their living conditions are dangerous, it is very hard to stand by and do nothing. Many of our parents live in extreme squalor or their homes have even become fire hazards, known to firefighters as "Collyer Calls". We don't want to wait for "the worst" to happen to finally get them help. Some go through their savings-their retirement...some of us become our parents parents' sooner than many in the natural progression of life.
There is no easy way to intervene. We don't have the magic answers here-We are all seeking them. We can share our stories with each other, what worked/what didn't, and offer suggestions. Unfortunately, there is no manual for this yet! There IS hope though! There ARE Hoarders that are in recovery from this disorder.
The first step in producing long lasting effects is opening their eyes so they know they really do have a condition that requires treatment and support. That they are not alone in how they think about objects and don't need to be ashamed. You will find some suggestions on how our "How To Help A Hoarder" page here:
http://www.childrenofhoarders.com/coh33.php
Below you will find some helpful links, navigation information for the community, and contact information to help you get started.
Welcome! We hope you find support and information here that will help you.
Community Moderators
Contact Site Admin:
info@childrenofhoarders.com
(Please do not send private messages to "COHAdmin." as that mailbox is not monitored)
Private Messages: This is the email feature for this website so you can correspond and keep your personal email confidential. (select "New Post" to create a Private Message for another member after locating them on the member list)
http://www.childrenofhoarders.com/forum/modules.php?name=Private_Messages
Emails may be sent as well, by selecting that option, but be advised your email address will be displayed to the recipient.
All your correspondence sent here is private and is not monitored by Site Admin. in any way.
Yahoo Group for COH: If you are an adult child of a hoarder we welcome you to also subscribe to the COH Yahoo Group (mailing list), as it compliments this website & allows our members to get to know each other on a familiar basis.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/childrenofhoarders
Recommended Books about hoarding and healing, organizing and cleaning:
http://astore.amazon.com/childrenofhoa-20/002-5597975-9182417?%5Fencoding=UTF8&node=0
Files/downloads of brochures, newsletters, reports, etc. No longer updated, but might be some old files there of interest?
http://www.childrenofhoarders.com/forum/modules.php?name=Downloads
Photo Gallery: ALL photos are copyright the poster and/or Children of Hoarders and may not be removed in any way from this site. This area is not very active (it's too complicated to upload photos!), but there are some photos there from the past that will probably look familiar to you!
http://www.childrenofhoarders.com/forum/modules.php?name=coppermine
Update Profile To add a photo/avatar to show up by your name when you post a message, change notifications of new messages or other account information in your profile, go to "Your Account/Profile".
*DISCLAIMER*
The administrators of these forums and Children of Hoarders website are not doctors, therapists, counselors, or mental health professionals. The information here should not be used to replace, by any means, the advice from a qualified professional. Materials posted should not be considered the authority on the topic of Compulsive Hoarding.
This forum is for adults only, 18 and older.
The opinions and statements provided are for general awareness for individuals to form their own adult opinions.
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The website www.childrenofhoarders.com & the Yahoo Support Group were started on 2/8/06 because there was no place to go to find the resources compiled for those looking for help for a Hoarding loved one. There was no place to recognize the children of hoarders and the challenges they face having a parent that hoards.
This online community started July 2006.
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