Link to Oprah's site about the show. Summarized here all on one page:
From closets overflowing with unworn clothes to boxes brimming with crafts and knickknacks, experts estimate that nearly 6 million Americans have a hoarding problem that affects their quality of life. But what if you had so much stuff, just the trash weighed 75 tons? To put it in perspective, it would take 15 huge dumpsters to hold that much trash. Imagine this amount of junk taking up every room, every hallway and every inch of space in your home. It seems impossible to live this way, but a heartbreaking home video introduced us to a husband and wife nearly buried alive by clutter.
From the outside, Sharyn and Marvin's 3,000-square-foot house looks like a typical American home. Step inside, however, and the foyer has become a narrow passage walled by stockpiles of possessions. The kitchen is drowning in bags and boxes filled with unused items. The family room is unrecognizable, with every piece of furniture covered in heaps of miscellaneous belongings.
Sharyn blames herself for the clutter. "I'm a shopaholic and I just buy and buy and buy." She describes her home as terrible, uncomfortable and suffocating. Breaking down into tears, Sharyn admits she needs help. "I don't know how I've done this to myself, to my husband, to my family. I don't want them to hate me. If I were to die tomorrow and they were left having to contend with all this stuff, I think they would end up hating me the rest of their lives. I want to be free of the clutter that's taking over my life."
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Sharyn and Marvin's children, Jodi, Steve and Rich, say their parents' home wasn't always filled with clutter. "It gradually happened little by little," Jodi says. "I think as each one of us moved out, it got worse and worse. I was the last one out and after that, it just got really bad." At first, she says the hoarding was seen as a minor issue—only the basement and a back room were used for storage. Then, Sharyn filled the garage. "It went from a three car garage, going down to a two car, to a one car, to a no car," Jodi says. Over the next 10 years, Sharyn's hoarding filled the entire home.
Not only does the clutter create chaotic conditions, but Steve is concerned for his parents' safety. "God forbid there would be a fire or something and they'd have to get out," he says.
Over the years, Rich says he and his family have stopped visiting the house. Now, for the first time in five years, Rich steps into his parents' home.
 Watch Rich's return home. (will take you to Oprah's site)
"Holy shipwreck," he says as he enters the foyer. Having to turn sideways to squeeze through the mounds of clutter, Rich is stunned by the sheer amount of possessions. "This stuff doesn't mean anything, I mean—it's meaningless," Rich says. "She can't have space with nothing in it. This has consumed her. I feel sorry for anybody who has to live like this, I really do."
After touring the space that was still accessible in the home, Rich says he feels devastated. "I came in with energy. I came in thinking I could make a dent in this. I mean, you can't even make space. I'm wiped out. I haven't touched anything, I haven't lifted a thing—I'm wiped out. I'm physically and emotionally drained. It's overwhelming," he says.
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Sharyn admits that shopping is her weakness. "When I shop and I find a good deal, it's total excitement that I got something special for my money," she says. "I love seeing sale signs when I go into a store. It's like a magnet just drawing me to it. And I can find deals like nobody else can find."
She also loves to buy gifts for her friends and family—but instead of giving them away, she hoards them. "She'll buy gifts maybe six months, nine months, a year in advance," Marvin says. "And then when it's time to give the gift, of course she doesn't know where she put it."
Sharyn also has a problem with collecting. "I don't have one of anything in my house. If I have one pair of sunglasses, I have 10. And if I was going to learn I needed a pair of sunglasses, sometimes I wouldn't even be able to find one."
Like their daughter, Jodi, Marvin says he noticed the hoarding began as their children grew up and began moving out. "It wasn't like this 10 years ago," he says. "I think the empty-nest syndrome is probably really what started it. She was trying to replace the children with things." Marvin cannot pinpoint the moment he realized his wife was a hoarder and says it was a slow progression. "I'd be sitting on the couch and I would just look up and it was unlivable," he says. "I would ask her, 'Please, we have to start cleaning the house out. Please.' And she'd say, 'Okay, we'll start tomorrow, or we'll start Monday,' or whatever day."
Sharyn says she thinks that recent deaths in her family have also caused her hoarding to become more extreme. "I suffered a lot of loss of family members in the last couple years and I really think that has a lot to do with it—it's filling a void," she says.
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To help get their home back in order, organizational expert Peter Walsh, author of It's All Too Much, is sent in to literally dig Sharyn and Marvin out. Peter estimates that it will take eight weeks and a team of 100 people to rescue this home. But whether you have a team of 100 or a team of one, Peter says there is one key question all hoarders must ask themselves before taking out a single bag of trash—what do you want from your home?
"Peace. Harmony. Neatness. Tidiness. A place to call home. A comfort zone I'm happy to be in," Sharyn says.
"A place that our family and friends can come visit—it's been a long time," Marvin says. So long, in fact, that Sharyn and Marvin estimate that they haven't had their friends over in 12 years.
Peter says Sharyn and Marvin must keep these things in mind as they decide what stays and what goes from their home. "So now this is the starting point, because constantly throughout the next couple of weeks, you have to keep coming back to what you want from this house," he says. "One of the biggest problems with clutter is that people focus on the stuff. And if you start there, you can never succeed. What's your vision for the life you want, the home you want, this room? You have to hold that in mind. Because without that, you're lost before you start."
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Peter and a team of six professional organizers begin the challenge of helping Sharyn and Marvin sort through their belongings. First up is the living room and dining room. "Ninety-five percent of what's in here has to go," Peter says.
He starts by dividing the front lawn into four sections: Keep, Sell, Donate and Trash. Peter makes Sharyn the director, and she gets to decide which pile everything goes in. As boxes and bags come bustling past her, Sharyn's anxiety level escalates. "I know I need to get rid of this. You've just got to give me a little bit of time," she says. As the hours go by, Sharyn is able to let go of many of her possessions…although some more easily than others.
The team makes a dangerous discovery—underneath five feet of junk, they find boxes of pasta rotting into the carpet.
As the first week of cleaning comes to an end, Peter gives Sharyn and Marvin three assignments to complete on their own the following week. He asks them to clear out their china cabinet, fill two garbage bags—one for charity and one for trash—once a day and demands that Sharyn stops shopping. Sharyn says she usually shops every day but she won't do it anymore now that Peter's here. "Not after this man came into my life," Sharyn says.
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For someone who hoards, sorting through possessions can be a painful process. An emotional moment sets in for Sharyn when Marvin discovers a wallet filled with pictures. Through her tears, Sharyn explains that this was her father's wallet. "It's just a small piece of my father that I have left," she says.
"That should have a place of honor and respect in the house, and yet it's buried in all this stuff," Peter says. "If you respect that so much, what's it doing buried in the stuff? So we need to pull that out and make sure that it has a place of honor and respect with the stuff in the house."
Peter explains that understanding value is a vital step. "When everything is important, I believe nothing is important," he says. "And so it's really critical to honor and respect the things that you say are of value. And if you don't do that, what are they doing in your home? And that was the problem here. Something of such huge emotional value was buried."
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Peter and Sharyn tackle the thousands of gifts she bought but never gave away. It's an important lesson in setting limits.
At the beginning of the process, Peter allows Sharyn one bin of gifts to keep. Sharyn says she needs more than that. "I'm wondering if six is enough," she says.
When Peter tells her she needs to come to a decision, Sharyn asks for eight bins, then 10. Peter refuses to bargain with Sharyn and urges her to pick a lower number of bins. "The reason I am pushing you is that if you don't set limits now, you will be in this position again within a year," he says. "I'm sorry to push you, but we have to start establishing limits because you have none."
Sharyn settles on eight. "It's just overwhelming," she says. "I don't ever want to be in this place again. Ever. Not ever."
Setting boundaries is an important lesson for everyone to learn, not just hoarders, Peter says. "It's easy to look at this and say this is so extreme, it's not me. But all of us are in this," Peter says. "If you don't have a limit for the number of holiday decorations in your garage or the dresses hanging in your closet or the number of tools on your work bench. If you don't limit your children or yourself, then this is the result."
"Wherever there is clutter, wherever there is chaos, wherever this is confusion in your own life, the message of this … is that there's always hope and that there is a way, no matter who you are, out of what appears to be no way," Oprah says. "Change is possible," Peter says.
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Dr. David Tolin, co-author of Buried in Treasures, is one of the country's leading experts on hoarding. He sat down with Sharyn to uncover the deeper psychological issues that could be contributing to her hoarding.
Dr. Tolin asks Sharyn how serious her problem is. "The highest number you can go to," she says. "And it's really, really gotten bad recently."
In the past two years, Sharyn says she's lost her brother and her sister. "I don't know if I'm trying to fill my life with things to replace the emptiness," she says.
"It sounds like you're trying to fill a hole, but the hole's not getting any smaller as you fill it," Dr. Tolin says. "In fact, I think I'm hearing the opposite, that if anything, it's getting bigger. You're feeling worse and worse."
Sharyn says her hoarding has taken away the ability to have her family and friends come over. "I'm embarrassed to even let my kids in here," she says. "My granddaughter is going to be 12. She probably hasn't been in my house in the past six years. And my grandson is gonna be 5, and he's never been in my house."
Dr. Tolin says that Sharyn has been defining herself as a good grandmother based on what she buys, not what she does. "They need you. They need a grandma who's present and can have them over and can spend time with them in her house," he says. "And it sounds like [you feel] the best way for you to show your love for your grandkids is to buy things—not even necessarily to give them—just to buy them, because you're thinking about them. But the thought doesn't make you a good grandma. The actions do."
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Tragic events or feelings of loss could have also triggered Sharyn's urge to hoard, Dr. Tolin says. "You probably start with a person who's already vulnerable and several different levels to develop this problem, and then something happens that kind of pushes them over the edge," he says. "But, again, lots of people lose things, lose people, face losses, have bad things happen in their lives, and this isn't necessarily how they react. So it would be oversimplifying things to say that's the cause."
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Dr. Tolin also sits down with Marvin, who says that when he and Sharyn dated, her room at her parents' house was also cluttered. "That keeps on flashing back into my mind. I mean, I knew what she was like," Marvin says. "I guess I blame myself in a sense because she's my wife and I didn't know how to stop her from doing what she was doing."
Marvin says he feels like part of the hoarding is his fault, but he never knew how to put his foot down. "How do you do that? I mean, do I walk out of the house? And then what's she gonna do? She couldn't handle this by herself. There's no way. The most important thing is if you love each other. I mean, you can have the cleanest house in the world and if you don't love each other, you know, what good is it?"
Dr. Tolin says he sympathizes with Marvin's position. "On the one hand, it's easier for us looking at this for the first time and think, 'Oh, my God, this is shocking. Why don't you do something about this?'" he says. "But I also find it's awfully hard to win an argument about hoarding. I've tried and I lose all the time. And my guess is that Marvin's lost these arguments as well."
Dr. Tolin says Marvin is in a tough position. "On the one hand, he wants Sharyn to start working on this problem and clearing out the clutter," Dr. Tolin says. "But on the other hand, the more he pushes, the more it seems to drive a wedge between him and his wife. He's really stuck." |
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How can Sharyn's family help keep her hoarding in check so this doesn't happen again? "Sharyn's off to a great start, and I think what Sharyn and Marvin and the kids are all bearing in mind that is really important is that this cannot just be about the stuff. It is not about physical possessions," Dr. Tolin says. "If it were that simple, all we'd need to do is clear out the house and the problem would be solved."
Dr. Tolin says Sharyn needs to clear her head, not just her house. "She needs to really reorganize not just her possessions, but the way she thinks about her possessions. She needs to alter her behavior in a fundamental way so that this problem doesn't grow," Dr. Tolin says. "And the best thing for the family to do is support her without pushing. Because if they push, they're just going to get a push back."
The psychology of a hoarder is why Peter says you can't clean up someone's mess for them. "They just get more and more entrenched. It's like the argument. Once you start arguing about the stuff, someone has to win and someone has to lose. And I can guarantee it, the person who has all the clutter or the hoarder will never lose that argument ever," Peter says.
Peter thinks Sharyn is on the right path. "Sharyn's ready, she's agreed for ongoing help, the family have agreed to monitor it. Sharyn has agreed to get into some substitute activity, into some volunteer work. She stopped shopping," Peter says. "I think all the indicators are there that she is on track and that change is possible."
It took a lot of hard work, a team of people and a heavy duty cleaning crew… See the dramatic results of Sharyn's home makeover.
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Sharyn and Marvin lived in a tiny path between mountains of clothes, gifts and other debris in their home—until organizational expert Peter Walsh stepped in. With his help, a team of 100 people spent eight weeks digging out 75 tons of garbage from their 3,000-square-foot house.
The trash is just the tip of the iceberg. In addition to all those dumpsters full of garbage, Sharyn and Marvin had accumulated 1,800 crates worth of toys, clothes, gifts, crafts, books and other belongings—enough to fill three semitrailers. A moment of truth finally comes for Sharyn when she sees all the things that had been crammed into her home displayed on rows of tables and bins in a 10,000-square-foot warehouse.
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Five weeks after Peter and his team began unburying their house, Sharyn and Marvin tackle the only room she begged Peter not to touch—the master bedroom. Piles of clothing swamp all the furniture, from the bed and chairs to an exercise bike.
Ninety-five percent of all that stuff must go, and Peter gives the couple only 20 minutes to decide which clothes to keep. "The first step in organizing is to purge the stuff you don't need or wear or use," Peter says.
As Sharyn struggles to part with the mounds of clothing, Peter asks her why she buys so much in the first place. "I go crazy. If I get [a shirt] in red, I have to get it in the other colors, too. I get them all," she says. "I hate myself [when I get home] because I don't know where to put it."
Once Sharyn's 20 minutes are up, it takes eight hours for the team to take all the discarded items out of the house. When they're done, the lawn is covered with 21 bins of purses, 16 bins of shoes and two piles of clothing almost as tall as Sharyn.
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Underneath all that clutter, Peter says the team uncovered something that posed a major health risk—black mold. "We actually asked Marvin and Sharyn to move out of the house," Peter says. "One of the problems with clutter is air can't circulate in a space, and so mold grows very easily."
Besides being nasty to look at, Peter says black mold can cause a variety of health problems. During the cleanup, he says he developed a fungicidal infection that spread from his leg to his scalp. And Sharyn had complained of a mysterious cough that Peter says lessened as the house became cleaner.
"It's not that unusual because the clutter just physically causes so many problems," Peter says. "Eighty-one percent of people who have hoarding problems have physical health problems related to the clutter, respiratory problems."
To combat the black mold that infiltrates every room of the house, a crew of mold experts came in to sanitize every surface. All the carpets and upholstered furniture were thrown away, and several walls were replaced.
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Of all the rooms in Marvin and Sharyn's home that are drowning in clutter, the 1,000-square-foot basement is the worst. Surveying the mountains of belongings, Sharyn says she thought 50 percent of them would remain—but Peter has a much lower number in mind. "If 5 percent stays, it will be a miracle," he says.
Beneath the piles of baby clothes, crafts and papers, Peter and Sharyn discover three couches, a treadmill, an exercise bike, a pool table and three TV sets. In addition to the mildew and mold they encounter, Peter finds even more health hazards, including mice nests. "I found food from 1994," he says. "There is nothing in here that is worth your health. None of this is safe for you."
While Peter and Sharyn tackle the basement, Marvin confronts his own hoarding problem. "I've never thrown away a bank statement," he says. Marvin begins shredding 35 years worth of financial documents by hand, until Peter decides to have them all commercially shredded instead. "You're holding onto credit card statements that go back 35 years," Peter says. "You have a thing with paperwork that is exactly the same as Sharyn stuck with all the [belongings]."
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Once all the unwanted belongings are cleared from Marvin and Sharyn's house, Peter and the team rent a 10,000-square-foot warehouse to hold a gigantic rummage sale. Piled on dozens of tables are stuffed animals, office supplies, clothing and accessories—including 3,000 handbags and 3,000 pairs of shoes.
Before walking their mother through the warehouse, Peter shows Sharyn's three children, Jodi, Steve and Rich, the sea of belongings. "This is unbelievable," Rich says.
When Peter takes Marvin and Sharyn in to see their rummage sale, Sharyn is stunned by the sheer number of things she sees piled on the tables. Then Peter reveals a second room with almost as many items as the first. "It's sick. It is so sick," Sharyn says. "I feel like a monster has been unleashed. But for the life of me, I cannot believe I even had that path to walk [in the house]."
Watch as Sharyn sees the warehouse for the first time.
Now Sharyn has a choice, Peter says—her stuff or her family. "There is either quantity or there is quality," he says.
"My family. I love you guys so much," Sharyn says. "I thank you for putting up with me. Nobody else on this earth would have put up with me."
Before the family left the warehouse, Peter gave Sharyn five minutes to take anything she wanted. Then, a major breakthrough occurred—Sharon took nothing. "This is my past, and you and this whole crew and my family are my future," she says.
As the family walked away from their past, Peter opened the doors to the largest rummage sale we've ever seen. In just four days, warehouse was completely cleared out and a total of $13,000 was raised!
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Once the two months of sorting, throwing away and cleaning are finished, Sharyn says she feels like a new person. "This cinderblock feeling from my shoulders has been lifted," Sharyn says. Free of the excess belongings, Marvin says he and his wife are finally getting their life back. "I've seen a tremendous change in Sharyn," he says. "She just has no want, no need to even walk into a store."
5 Stages of Change For Compulsive Hoarding
Even though the clutter has been removed, Peter and his team feel the job is still unfinished. Sharyn and Marvin need a fresh start in order to establish their vision of a home filled with peace, family and harmony—and the team has something very special in mind!
For seven weeks, Sharyn and Marvin moved out of their home for the cleanup. When they finally return, the home is not only clutter-free, it's completely redecorated! Walking into the house, they discover a brand new living room. "It's gorgeous," Sharyn says.
Because black mold destroyed 75 percent of the furniture, Broyhill fully furnished the entire home. Lowe's ripped out the old moldy carpet and replaced it with shiny new hardwood floors.
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Before Peter and his team stepped in, Marvin confessed he and Sharyn had not used their dining room in more than 12 years. Now its beautiful, clutter-free décor makes it so inviting that family dinners will become a tradition once again!
While many of the decorative items are new, Sharyn's own dishes are arranged beautifully on the perfectly set table. "One thing that's really important is that the things you own, you have to honor and respect them," Peter says. "Your beautiful dishes—the beautiful things that you own, displayed with honor and respect."
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Since they are going to be using the dining room so much now, Sharyn and Marvin must have a place to prepare all those meals—a newly furnished kitchen. "This is gorgeous!" Sharyn says. "It is so gorgeous!"
The clutter in the old kitchen concealed crumbling cabinets and decaying countertops. So Lowe's redesigned the space using Shenandoah cabinets and Zodiac countertops. State-of-the-art stainless steel appliances from GE's Profile line replace the old, broken ones.
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Peter sets up a sensible solution to Marvin's paper problem in the beautifully redecorated family room. He designates a specific area for paperwork, including small bins for incoming mail and a shredder for unwanted items.
"Throughout the house everywhere, you need to constantly think of the vision you have for that room and stick to the limits," Peter says. "If you do that, you can maintain this home."
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Sharyn and Marvin had not seen their bedroom furniture in years—until Peter helped them move mountains of clothing. Once the room was cleared of clutter, a team from Lowe's removed all the carpeting and the team replaced the mold-covered drywall and even added new windows. "They've transformed everything in here!" Sharyn says.
Now Marvin and Sharyn can enjoy the sanctuary of their master bedroom, complete with the sleep area and a seating area by the fire. "The function of this room is the room that drives your relationship," Peter says.
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Also in the master suite, Sharyn and Marvin's bathroom gets a major facelift with new cabinets and fresh, clean towels. "It's beautiful," Sharyn says.
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To help Sharyn stay within the limits that Peter set for clothes, shoes and accessories, Lowe's outfitted their new closets with ClosetMaid Storage Solutions.
"You agreed that the focus moving forward are the things of value rather than the things that have cost you so much," Peter says. "You choose either the stuff or your life. And that's a choice you have to make every day."
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It was the worst room in the house. The basement was 1,000 square feet of fleas, black mold and mice nests. "Before you go into the basement, I want to remind you, there were so many health problems in this house because of the clutter," Peter says. "This was an unhealthy hell hole."
Now, the basement is a beautiful gathering place. Peter brought in a few functional pieces from Broyhill to help Sharyn define strict limits for her favorite hobbies. There are two armoires designated for gifts, along with a wrapping station. "This is all the paper you need. When you finish one roll, you can add one roll," Peter says.
A crafting area is set up in the middle of the room. Below are rolling carts that hold supplies. "If you pull one of these out to use it, it's returned. And in each area at the end of using things, it goes back to its home," Peter says.
The family's old sofas also create a relaxing area where the children can play.
So how do Sharyn and Marvin see themselves using the basement? "Very wisely and very carefully, and I will take care of everything. I will put everything back," she says.
"This is a house to be proud of," Marvin says.
Sharyn and Marvin's garage was so stuffed, it hadn't seen a car in years.
Now, a Gladiator System from Lowe's helps keep Marvin's workstation in order. There's a special tool zone and steel cabinets for cleaning supplies. Lowe's also installed gear wall panels to keep tools accessible but out of the way.
There is also a special slip-resistant floor. "And now with winter coming, you can park your car in the garage," Peter says.
"Oh, my God," Sharyn says. "I could live out here."
Steve, Jodi and Rich's childhood bedrooms had been locked for a decade—no one but Sharyn had been inside. Now, each room has been redone with a special purpose in mind.
Rich's old room is first. "This is for my guests only. I am not allowed to put any of my belongings in any of these drawers," Sharyn says. "I can't wait to see who the first guest is
going to be."
With bunk beds and a baby bassinette, Jodi's old room is tailor-made for grandkids. "I can't wait to have my grandchildren spend the night," Sharyn says. "I'm ready." 
Steve's room has been transformed into a home office, complete with a mail system to help Marvin stay organized.
The room also serves as a place of honor for Marvin's mother's hutch, a piece that is meaningful to the entire family. "She would feel proud of seeing it where it is. I feel proud seeing it where it is," Sharyn says.
The hutch makes Marvin feel like his mother is with them. "I know my mother's here with us in spirit. This brings her so much closer to us," he says.
Peter says this is the perfect example of treating your possessions with respect. "If something has a value to it, then treat it in that way. And what happens is many people get caught holding onto memory stuff or I-might-need-it-one-day stuff," Peter says. "And if you don't create the life you want, if you don't create the home you want, who will? And that's what this comes down to. [Oprah] keeps saying, live your best life. But it's also about, create your best life. I think that's what we've seen here. And that's the lesson for everyone. Stuff has a promise. But go for life. Don't go for the stuff."
 Sharyn says it's amazing to be free of the clutter that plagued her for so long, but she says it took some time to adjust to it. "It's only been a week, but I feel like that never existed. It's like I know it's back there somewhere," she says. "I know everybody has their demons in one way or another. I dealt with it. I'm not saying I'm 100 percent cured, because the stores are always there and I'm trying to stay out of them. And I'm doing a really good job."
Now, Sharyn says she looks at possessions differently. "You're supposed to own your stuff. Your stuff should not own you. And obviously you can tell my stuff owned me," Sharyn says. "It was overwhelming. There were many times I wanted to start cleaning things and doing things and I would go out and buy the bins and buy the racks and everything. But when you don't even have a space to start in to do that, it's impossible."
Looking back at all the things she had, Sharyn makes a promise to herself and her family. "I was a sick person and there was a monster inside of me that had been unleashed and I will never, ever do this again," she says.
If you or a loved one has a hoarding problem, but you don't have a team of people to come in and help, what can you do to help get organized?
Peter says to start small. "Just the two trash bags a day. If you just walk around the house for 10 minutes a day. Fill one bag with trash. One bag with stuff going to [charity]. At the end of a week, a couple will have 14 bags of trash and 14 bags of stuff for [charity]."
Most importantly, Peter says you have to stop shopping and respect the limits of your space. "Look at the stuff you have and ask, does this help me live the life I want? Your best life? And if it does, keep it. If it doesn't, you have to let it go," Peter says.
Peter says people can learn two important lessons from Sharyn's story. The first? Look to a support group. "Sharyn got to a point through a loving family of seeing the need for change," he says. The second is to seek professional organizing help. "Look around. There are organizers around the country who can come in and help. The National Association of Professional Organizers. Check them online. They have people in every city across the country."
Professional Organizers specializing in chronic disorganization
Treatment Centers & in-person support groups
Online support groups for compulsive hoarding:
Squalor Survivors Community
Messies Anonymous: Mt. Vesuvius Method- Mt. Vernon Method
FLY Lady (Finally Loving Yourself)
Obsessive Compulsive Foundation Support Groups
Peter says Sharyn is a great inspiration to others. "I think there's a massive change here, and I said that to you during the break. Just physically, emotionally, just in talking to Sharyn, there's a massive change," he says. "It's an ongoing process, and I think Sharyn's committed to that. And that's why I have great confidence that change has happened here and permanent change."
Changing a lifelong habit is a difficult
thing. Even after clearing one's home,
many people who hoard have to always
keep on top of their hoarding behavior.
People can and do change and it is
possible to say one is over something
like this, but until we know more about
what causes this, we won't know what
a "cure" will look like. One important
component to successful treatment is
not only to clear out each room, but to
learn how to live and be comfortable
with a cleared room.
-Randy Frost, Ph.D., Expert on
Compulsive Hoarding
Dr. Tolin says Sharyn isn't cured, but she's off to a great start. "There are a lot of people watching this show who are suffering from the same kind of problem and they are gonna have to struggle with this for a while," Dr. Tolin says. "It takes time and it takes commitment, not just today, but tomorrow and next year and forever."
Dr. Tolin says you don't need a team of professionals to clean out and refinish your home to make progress. "It would be nice, but people can make these changes on their own. It takes a little more time, it takes a lot of effort. But they can do it step-by-step," Dr. Tolin says.
If you think you have a compulsive hoarding problem, take the quiz below:
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Do you have a problem with compulsive hoarding? Use this self-assessment to find out.
For each question below, choose the word that corresponds most closely to your experience during the past week.
From Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding by David Tolin, Randy O. Frost and Gail Steketee.
Why Do People Hoard?
According to Dr. David Tolin, director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at The Institute of Living at Hartford Hospital, some people hoard because of perfectionism. "They don't necessarily color-code their closets, but they have that perfectionistic streak that bites them when it gets too bad," he says. "They have the mentality that, 'If I can't make this decision perfectly, I won't do it at all.' And that's where the hoarding comes in. They become so frightened that they will make a mistake, that they become paralyzed and just allow the clutter to build up."
Other people hoard because they are afraid that they will accidentally throw away something that is useful. "People with hoarding problems will often think of all kinds of ways that they could use something, or they think of people that might want that object, so they keep it," Dr. Tolin says. "The irony, however, is that in most cases, they never actually use the object in the way they thought of. They don't actually give the object to the person they thought of. So these reasons for keeping things don't turn out to be good reasons after all."
Still other people save things because they feel a sense of emotional attachment to the objects in their home. "All of us get attached to things some of the time," Dr. Tolin acknowledges. "We have things that remind us of people we love, or they remind us of happy times. But for people with hoarding problems, the attachment to objects becomes very intense—sometimes more intense than the attachment to actual people. And instead of feeling attached to one thing, like a scrapbook or a favorite sweater, they can become attached to hundreds, even thousands, of things. Some people have told me that all of the things in their homes feel like their friends or family members, so they can't bear to throw them out."
Can compulsive hoarding be treated?
There is no "cure" for compulsive hoarding, meaning there is no treatment that will make the problem go away completely and never come back at all. However, Dr. David Tolin explains how some treatments may help people to manage the symptoms more effectively.
Medications
Research studies using antidepressant medications (that increase the level of serotonin activity in the brain) show that some people with compulsive hoarding respond well to these medications. However, many do not. People with compulsive hoarding do not appear to respond as well to medications as do people with other kinds of obsessive-compulsive symptoms.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a form of counseling that goes beyond "just talking." In this form of treatment, the therapist often visits the person's home and helps them learn how to make decisions and think clearly about their possessions. There have not been as many studies of this kind of treatment, so it's hard to say with certainty how effective it is for hoarding. However, the available evidence suggests that cognitive-behavioral therapy is effective for many people with compulsive hoarding, perhaps more so than medications.
Comments received:
(Please note, if you send in your personal story instead of comments on the Oprah show, and are seeking advice, you will find those submissions posted at our Family Community. For feedback, check for comments posted attached to your story.)
1.This form was submitted: Nov 12 2007
I think it is great that Oprah is raising awareness about the issue of compulsive hoarding and how it affects so many lives in a negative fashion. This disease hurts people more than most of the public know. I wish Oprah would come to my father's house and film it for people to see and help clean it up. It has gotten so bad. My sister and I cleaned it a few years ago and now it is back to a state that is even worse than before.
Relationship = Son
2. Via email: Nov 12 2007
I'm concerned about the way this show is going to portray hoarding, from the video preview. It kind of sounds like Oprah is going to be contributing to the stigma attached to the disorder ("You will be SHOCKED!"), rather than educating the public on the compulsions behind this affliction. Hopefully she will spread the message about the proper help to seek to start recovery from it, and not make the family out to be the "bad guys" who just want to control the person that hoards.
Relationship: daughter
3. This form was submitted: Nov 15 2007
Don't like the "a mother, WHOSE OWN CHILDREN TURNED HER IN" (caps mine)... This sets up the COHs to sound like they are the bad guys - us against them - when we are really trying to HELP and come from a place of caring. But this is typical of Oprah's writers to exploit a very tragic situation for viewership. Haven't seen the show yet, but it looks like it will be more about the promotion of Oprah's favorite de-clutterer Peter Walsh and HIS career. I hope those of us on the COH website will write in after the show with comments - let's change the center spotlight of this discussion from the promotion of 'Walsh's clean-up challenge' to the real social/medical issue of hoarding/perfectionism/paranoia/etc. and its effects on the lives of those living with it.
Relationship = daughter
4. This form was submitted: Nov 15 2007
The show was great....right on target. I felt they had her best interest at heart. It was pretty amazing to see it could get that bad.
Rating = 5
5. This form was submitted: Nov 15 2007
Part One: Excellent show. I like the way they approach decluttering the house, involve the hoarder who has set some goals. I also like that they were asking the husband why he let the house get so bad. It's nice to see that the whole family was involved. I think this lady was ready for the help. This would not work for someone who does not think they have a problem. I noticed that Oprah didn't think she had a hoarding problem because her stuff was organized. Organized or not, it's still hoarding. I'm beginning to think that even a "collection of items" could be a form of hoarding. The big negative image it aired was that you need a team of 100 people working for months to clean up the house. This would put a damper on most anyone who is even thinking of cleaning up their own house. Relationship = friend, family members and self
Rating = 4
6. Nov 15 2007
I've seen worse. Yes, the hoarder had a lot of items, but it was a much cleaner hoard than ones I've had to clean out for my MIL.
7. Nov 15 2007
I thought the first show was well done, although I didn't care for the insensitive "You'll be shocked", "Her own kids turned her in" sensationalism promoting the program. I'm glad to see more people are becoming aware of this disorder and hope they can try to understand how difficult it is for the hoarder and family members. I can't begin to explain the hurt,sadness and heartache it brings to the entire family, including grandkids. I wish my mother, a hoarder for over 40yrs, would recognize that she has a problem. She NEVER wants to talk about it. She tells all her adult offspring, that it's none of their business how she lives.
Relationship = daughter
Rating = 4
8. Nov 15 2007
I thought the show was well done.
However, as usual, what nobody ever touches on, because I guess nobody has any answers to it and that won't help sell their books, is how to help an elderly hoarder (hoarding for 30/40/50+ years)who lives in an extreme hazard and refuses to accept any help, let alone talk about it. And their house(s) & everything in it, their care, will fall on the family members to handle. Or how home health aides can't enter the home--or even EMT's with stretchers.
I think this was a good piece to raise awareness about Hoarding and reduce the stigma. The issues of children that actually grew up in that environment were not addressed, but not even Oprah has discovered us yet I guess, and perhaps this was not the right forum to delve into it. If, like Oprah said, there are 6 million hoarders in the U.S., think of how many children they have...who would also buy (and are probably desperately seeking) a helpful book for help & healing. cha-ching.
9. Nov 16 2007
The hoarding husband and wife on the Oprah show could easily have been my parents and their home. It was dead on. It's my dad who is the problem. He's very stubborn. He watched the show and still will not do anything about it. Of course, he claims his stuff isn't "junk", they are valuables. I want to bring in a professional to talk to my dad, but I would have to get the best out there and even then I have little hope of my dad cooperating. They've actually taken over my grandpa's garage (who lives down the block), because they have run out of room. I do not want to deal with their mess after they pass. I get mild panic attacks when I go to their house, just thinking of this weight they are going to leave on me. If anyone can recommend someone from the Chicagoland area to contact, I'd appreciate it!
Relationship = daughter
Rating = 4
10. Nov 16 2007
My daughter is a hoarder with 5 children. It drives me crazy. At least it is presently driving her crazy. We clean spots and then she can't seem to keep them clean. The children have given up and have no guidance. We are going to try and get the whole thing done this weekend. It doesn't even pay to buy her presents they just end up in the pile, I don't know what to do and neigher does she. Help! Help! Help! I didn't see the show....please email me with suggestions to twohtsrsry@aol.com Thank you. She wants help.
Relationship = Mother
11. Nov 16 2007
Part II: No mention of often-present ADD, decision-making difficulties-no mention of the proper kind of therapy or online support groups available for those that hoard, etc.?
I wish it was as easy to "cure" this as it appeared on the show. It was a good show, but it left me sad. Sad to not hear of follow-up therapy for the hoarder and that she may be set up for a fall without it. Sad for all the families out there that do those clean-ups without all the glory of a renovated house as the pay-off. Sad for the children that help their parents dig out over many decades (get hopes up for new lives for their parents and their families)and it just comes right back again. Sad for the children that grow UP in these environments, not those who have only been exposed to it for 10 years, but all that they know of their relationship with their hoarding parent, their childhood homes where they learned "normal." Sad for myself too I guess because I know a larger clean-up operation is awaiting me and my siblings as our mother simply has more space/properties she has filled over 40 years--but we will not have all the assistance of the crews, free dumpsters, disposal, etc. Just back breaking work managed the best we can in between lives of our own. Not all compulsive hoarders are so eager to be "helped" and stop the behavior that makes them feel safe.
It's unfortunate for children who only know this, (think of the ones living in it at this moment), who still were not acknowledged and could hear "it's NOT YOUR fault" coming out of the tv.
But this show was progress in raising awareness. Wish Dr. Tolin spoke more as he would have more valuable information for Compulsive Hoarders, as someone who has researched this many years. Peter Walsh's recommendation for sufferers to contact the Natl. Assn. of Professional Organizers just showed me he must not have read too much about this disorder--to not even recommend the branch of organizers that have certifications in the chronically disorganized/ADD. (nsgcd.net). To get an organizer who is not familiar with the unique needs of these types of clients could set Hoarders back many paces and cause them to want to "hold on" more or not want to accept help again.
Well, hope to see a follow-up show in 5 years.
12.Nov 16 2007
Rating = 5
13. Nov 16 2007
The<show> was OK for raising awareness about compulsive hoarding but I was disappointed that Dr. Tolan didnt get more time to present on the psychological aspects. Compulsive hoarding is much more than just being disorganized.It was kind of funny to see Walsh lose his patience with the hoarder and lose your lunch on some of the discoveries. It would be interesting to see what happens in few months after the show.
Relationship = son
Rating = 2
14. Nov 16 2007
this was a great show. I am not one of those people. I dont understand it at all My inlaws are hoarders and there house is so gross to go in. My kids have never stayed at there house and my oldest is 19 years old. You can not go in there house without something falling down and you cant even see the floor. They have paths to get to each room and in each room it is piles of stuff. I have been with my husband for 23 years and I have never seen the hallway cleared. My inlaws have not even vacumed in about 15 years. Cant get one though. and now they have 2 big dogs in the house and dog hair all over. The kitchen is very gross They go to Sams club and buy things and then they foget or cant find it under all the stuff so they go and buy more. Dont understand how they live like that. GROSS GROSS GROSS
Relationship = inlaw
Rating = 5
15. Nov 16 2007
In the hoarder world,(as shown in the Oprah show) the sufferer (woman/mother)- like all our COH mothers, seems to be seeking personal gratification through consumption, and lacks the ability to defer that gratification. Her statement that 'it was such a bargain that the store was practically paying me to buy it' rang so true. This woman looked to be in the the thrall of a fantasy - the pleasures of the material world without limit and infinitely buyable - so sad to watch her became choked and increasingly suffocated by the mass of stuff. This show got me so depressed I had to go back to bed - overwhelmed by the thought of being a COH and powerless to do anything about it when they gave the stats on the number of professionals and budget required. Wish my mother had a team of 100, a psychologist, and a budget to rebuild, refurnish, and restore her home to a healthy, clean, and safe space. Most of the hoarder mothers I have read about on this message board do not have the capacity for insight into their problem - we don't have a celebrity team behind any of us! Seems all the more hopeless.
Relationship = daughter
Rating = 2
16. Nov 16 2007
Im thinking thats my aunt...and it scares me...I have not been in her house for at least 11 years. I also grew up in a messy cluttered filled home...I often fall victim to this...it must be an illness of some sort. When I begin to clean or pick-up my daughter asks who is coming over? It scares me. I do not want her to live like this another day. thanks for airing this show. I believe it will help others like those in my family. Present count of hoarders in my family 8 ages ranging from 22 - 62.
Relationship = neice
Rating = 5
17. Nov 17 2007
As I watched Oprah’s show I was hoping the whole time that my mother was watching. I didn’t want to call her to tell her to watch… she’s a hoarder in denial. She becomes VERY offended if you make any inference that she hoards. My brother, sister and I are blamed constantly for not helping her. We’ve tried. We’ve cleared rooms, painted, redecorated only to find the room re-cluttered and crammed with junk the next time we visit. I cry for my mother because of what hoarding has robbed her of…. a good life. Physically her health is failing. She’s always depressed. Overwieght. I’m sure there’s mold and other environmental health hazards in her home. Until Mr. Walsh mentioned the health risks that can be involved in the homes of hoarders, I never thought that her lung problems and other health issues she suffers from were connected. I don’t like my boys to stay with grandma. And that breaks my heart. My mom is miserable, holds onto the past, won’t let go of anything. She’ll even take things out of MY trash to take home to her house if she thinks she can use it “someday.” She buys more and more junk, visiting goodwill type stores. She can’t sleep in her bed, can’t use her bathroom, can’t use any other bedroom in the house. She sleeps in a lazy boy chair in her living room. Every single room, nook and cranny is packed. My heart breaks for her and I’m angry at her, which makes me feel awful. I don’t want to become like that… that scares the hell out of me.
18. Nov 17 2007
I would like to see how anyone can help a 53 year old widow who is severly depressed because of living with hoarders. With 3 adult kids that the oldest daughter is a very severe hoarder. When her dad left her money after he died, she spent all her money in a short time.
I am trapped in this nightmare. What makes it worse is I am in a 2 bedroom apartment, no lawn to sort the stuff, and had recently lost 4 fingers in a car accident (that someone caused by going through a red light). None of my kids even notice I'm hurting from this even though I have cried about it. It's all well and good if you have money, and friends to help. I don't. I am the only one that seems to notice. My deceased husband was a severe hoarder, and left me with his burden of years of stuff too. I guess my kids picked up his disease. I have no car because of the accident to transport anything to the Goodwill. And at my apartment you can't have them come upstairs to puck up stuff. I could go on and on. And I guess my kids are just waiting for me to die so they can continue on with their destructive ways. They don't care. If I could afford it, I would have my kids helped, and get someone to physically help me. Hoping for a miracle.HELP ME.
Relationship = MOM
Rating = 4
19. Nov 17 2007
I so enjoyed that show, because it was very much an eye opener! I mean, all the time during the show, I kept looking around me in the house and was reassured! Sometimes you say "ok that's it, we put so stuff away (because it is just lying around here and there) or we get rid of some or give it away. But it helped me realize that a few things here and there is plain normal. We are not horders (in my family I mean). A "normal" house is not a "magazine" or showroom house! As for the people in the show, I felt so overwhelmed for the lady! And she was a very "normal" person, good looking (dresses well, takes care of herself, etc.) good manners, etc. It shows you that we should NOT have preconceived ideas or be careful about judging others. I was rejoicing for this woman and her family and felt very moved that she was open and honest about her problem. Congratulations to them and God bless you and your family! A Canadian viewer.
Rating = 5
20. Nov 17 2007
I happened to be spending another two days cleaning out my mother's house when these shows aired, getting home in time to watch them in the afternoon. I am glad they did the show, even though it had a sort of Free Home Makeover feel to it. How nice a free labor crew of 100 and new furniture, walls, etc. would have been for us!
I wish they had dealt with a variety of examples, especially people who are not at all interested in getting help, changing, or cleaning out, much less the scores of hoarders who even recognize that here is a problem at all. I was glad they mentioned the replacement of actual walls, the mold and mice nests. As we try to get my mother's house ready to sell, I think of the shame that her house has decreased so much in value because or her hoarding. Also, it seemed so clean, and the stuff seemed so new. My family has been cleaning out my mother's 2000+ sf house since March. I am the only child who lives in the same county with the house, so I have worked by myself a fair amount. We got my mother out at the beginning, into a new place. That was the only way, but her clutter had years and years of build-up and it was filthy. Add cats and dogs who were allowed to run rampant, and defecate and urinate anywhere anytime, and you can imagine the filth. And the mold!
I would also like if they had addressed the embarrassment of the children and trying to avoid having people go to your mother's house, the trying to keep it a secret. If they did, I missed it.
Relationship = daughter
Rating = 3
21. Nov 17 2007
Exactly at the same time the house shown on Oprah was being cleaned out, sorted, sold off, redone and filmed, my parents were doing the same thing on their own -- without the help of Oprah, Peter Walsh, or Dr. Tolin.
Of course Oprah did it better. The auction of my parents hoarded house of 35 years and its possessions took place a month ago. My parents were even approaching the task similarly. Like Peter Walsh said to do, my parents had one vision: empty and sell the house and get out from under the burden of debt and possessions in it. It took them 4 months of hard work and deadlines, and the end result was exhausting and disappointing but DONE.
No one came to redo the drywall, install wood floors or new furniture.
But that's what shows like Oprah do, and I think the family deserved the help they got -- they were really brave to be on TV. I think the biggest service the show did was to film exactly how much can accumulate and fit in a 3000 sq ft house -- and then show the reaction of the hoarder ("That's not my stuff! Its somebody else's!" when she saw it) -- because I know that is what my parents were dealing with.
In this show, Oprah also fulfilled a childhood dream of mine to empty the house completely, fill a giant warehouse with all the "valuables" (1800 orange bins worth, she said), and have a huge rummage sale. More importantly, they showed the realistic results. That the total the rummage sale on the Oprah show produced only $13,000 must have been a disappointing amount for the family and Peter Walsh (who estimated at least $60,000 spent in purses and shoes on 2 warehouse tables alone). My parents' auction actually cost them money and made them very little. Including the sale of the house, they barely broke even. It is sad that my mom didn't get anything for her years of bargain shopping and collecting -- but that's how hoarding is! Hoarded items cost more to keep than they could ever be worth.
This Oprah show and my parents auction has made me feel extremely lucky and hopeful. Even though it took my mom 40 years and not 10. Because both the family on the show and my family are getting better. That the world will understand the struggle better -- in terms of quantity and time -- makes improvement and recovery a little easier.
It is the unknown that does the most damage, I think. That what is behind drawn drapes and closed doors is secret, unknown, and hidden gives it more power than it really has. It's terrifying and angering, but it is only stuff and the disorder, not people. I'm looking forward to the 5 year follow-up, too! My parents may not get the Home Makeover (Extreme Hoarding edition), but like the family on Oprah, their lives have still been saved.
Relationship = child
Rating = 5
22. Nov 17 2007
This was a glorified home makeover that did very little to educate hoarders or their children about the real issues.
I imagine 99% of the hoarders don't think they have a problem, and get angry if others suggest such a thing. They get furious if their children sneak around and clean without permission. I think a few hoarders would threaten suicide, or homicide, if their secret were outed, especially by their children, with national coverage. Compulsive hoarding is a disease, just like cancer or diabetes or heart trouble, and not something to be presented for shock value like The Elephant Man. This silly giddy compulsive-shopping hoarder and her anal-retentive co-dependent husband were probably the least representative, and most photogenic hoarding couple they could find.
I hope viewers don't think they too can achieve this pollyanna outcome, without lots of luck and hard work and tears and anxiety. Thank heavens we had Oprah and Peter Walsh to wave their magic Lowe's/GE/Broyhill wands, and make all the boo-boos disappear.
Relationship = 59-year-old daughter
Rating = 1
23. Nov 17 2007
Rating = 5
24. Nov 17 2007
This show was right on the money. This is the dirty little secret we have in our family, close friends and our children know but not the people close to my mother. She has always been a hoarder, but after my father died, there was no one to monitor her, none of us children live closer than 2 hours away.
After Daddy died she always had an excuse for why we couldn't come visit. She even lied for a couple of years about living with another woman who originally enjoyed my mother helping her after her hip replacement surgery. Mother would go to her children's homes but we never got invited to hers. She has a wonderful personality, but I always feel it is so put on, I never feel like I mean that much to her, the junk always comes first.
Back to the issue, I got a call from the neighbor that said my mother would have to move from the lady's house she was living at and the only place for mom to go was back home. The neighbor said that mom's house was not habitable. So only taking her word for it, we invited my mom to move next door to us and that we would remodel the back of our shop into an apartment. She said yes, and at first we were so relieved that she would be safe and she agreed to come live with us for the few months it would take for the remodel. During that time we had a reason to stop at my mother's old house, absolutely shocking! We had heard that she was going through peoples garbage cans but didn't believe it. Well, what a shocker, she was going through garbage cans and taking it all home, going through it and leaving it on the kitchen floor. It was like someone took the roof off and dumped it full of garbage. I felt I couldn't tell my mom about this because I had got into her house without her permission.
She is 86 years old and has lived next door for 4 years and it is also filling up rapidly. I am not alone, I have a brother and sister and a very supportive husband, but he doesn't know what to do. The wrath you feel from a parent who does this and is approached about getting professional help is beyond words.
Here's the feeling, the son who went into the parents home on Oprah and hadn't been there for 5 years, that feeling of crushing heaviness, the fact you cannot reason with the hoarder, the guilt for not having done something sooner, the games you play with the hoarder so you don't rock the boat, the lies and secrets, it's all so hard. I'm a 58 year old daughter, and I now have some heart problems, probably due to stress. The last time I approached mom about her old house, she collapsed and I had to call 911. They came but mom wouldn't go to the hospital.
During this last 4 years that she's lived here her old house has been broke into, mainly by children, and I was telling her about some silverware that had been stolen. I have gotten professional help over this, and they have sympathized with me, but they say that talking to my mom is the best. Well I have offered to pay for p rofessional help for my mom and she says she doesn't need help. Anyway, this whole deal is really something. My mother has no desire to do anything on her own such as volunteer work or go to the senior center. Now if I offered to go too, she would. But I want to get away from her, not spend more time with her. She is driving me crazy!
Relationship = daughter
Rating = 4
25. Nov 18 2007
My mother is a hoarder and I have grown up with it all my life and I am 53 years old.I just thought it was a way of life until I saw the Oprah show.I made my mother watch the show and all she said was that women on there had a hoarding problem.My mother would not admit that she herself has the problem at all.My mother has 5 houses that looks like the one on Oprah and my mother just thinks she is a collector and not a hoarder.I feel sorry for my father for having to live with my mother in all that mess.
My mother blames my father for not having a house big enough for all her stuff and she has 5 houses full.Thank you Oprah for the show because I have already started to do something about it.I know the Dr. on the show said not to do it why the person is not there but I cleaed out one of the house why she was in the hospital for 27 days.I just finished yesterday and I am taking my mother there today.Wish me Luck because I am a dead man.
Relationship = Son
Rating = 5
26.
Nov 19 2007
I think that it is good that Oprah is interested in the topic, because awareness is a good thing. But it's only a start. The show oversimplies, however. For example, the lady at issue had made the decision to make changes. I think for many hoarders, my mother, for example, that just isn't going to happen. My mother, at 86, denies she has a problem and is completely resistant to anything. So how do you force a hoarder to get help. In terms of cleanup, the show kept mentioning 100 people in an 8 week period.
I can definitely believe that because for hoarders, the trash is mixed with some treasure so you can't just wholesale throw it out. I wasn't surprised about the 75 tons of garbage, not to mention the 10,000 square foot warehouse of "stuff." But, realistically, as the show suggests, how is taking out one bag of trash and one bag to donate per day really going to get the job done, even if a hoarder is motivated? I suspect my mother's trash is about equivalent to the lady on this show.
The other thing the show didn't really deal with is cost, how much all this costs to rent dumpsters, personnel, and all the fixing up that hoarding entails like replacing walls filled with mold? What are regular folks supposed to do?
Relationship = daughter
Rating = 2
27.
Nov 20 2007
When I watched the Oprah show on Hoarding, my stomach was in a knot, emotionally I was in a panic and all I could do was cry. It was a show that needed to be done to show people what goes on behind closed doors.
I was impressed by the courage of the kids. They were willing to do whatever it took to get their mom help. I cried especially when their mother agreed to get help. My 61-year old mom is a hoarder. I'm sad to say I don't think she will ever agree to get help and as her oldest 42-year old child, I feel helpless.
The professionals on the show said the hoarders need to WANT to be helped. The Oprah show indicated the health hazard hoarding can be and my mom's basement is much, much worse than the one shown on Oprah's in regard to dirt and filth. The terrible smell in my mom's house and the musty smell on everything and everyone that leave it indicate that something is terribly wrong. Is there a mold testing kit that a person could buy to get an idea of what might be going on? I taped the show and hope to find the courage to sit down with the support of my family to watch it with my mom present. I don't know what her reaction will be.
Typically she gives excuses. Typically she is in denial. Typically she gets mad a few days, doesn't talk about it and then suddenly acts like nothing ever happened and all is well. I think the Oprah show opened a door for many people and it was a door that needed to be opened.
Relationship = Oldest Daughter
Rating = 4
28.
Nov 21 2007
This does sound like another ploy, or notch under the belt for Oprah. She did an outstanding job, but what about the 5,999,998 other people who need this service for themselves, as well. I, myself am a type c hoarder, and my mother is a type b hoarder. -I live with her.
I hate the hoarding lifestyle. It just says I'm unsociable, and an outcast with no life. I am not comfortably free with alot of these belongings. My mother says, "All of this stuff is mine, and it goes to all our poor relatives in the Philippines." But, by now we've got about dozens of boxes they don't even want, or choose to terrorize us with. How could we possibly send all of this by next school semester where I could make new study-buddy friends? Christmas is essentially the only season that is appropriate to send these kinds of boxes. I am ashamed of this mess.
Also, what about the 6 million hoarders who create this crises for all of us? What about myself? I go to therapy, but it seems pointless at times to start tackling this now with no money, at all. What about the future of the American public, and the rest of the world.
Please, people, do not hoard. It would only end up to be a tremendous problem later on. I am highly ashamed, and terrified all at once.
Relationship = Eldest Daughter
Rating = 5
29.
Nov 22 2007
Didn't watch the show, but have read all of the article here and the responses. My sister died this year within her home due to complications which, now I believe were mostly due to her home.
Myself, my wife and a few family members plus friends that I called in favors of, did the nasty work of dealing with the stuff. My sister rented and I had to pay just for the privilege of cleaning out that condo. I dedicated every single minute of my time for a month hauling stuff out. I'm not a fit guy. It was hard. I began to hate my sister's disease.
Easily 50 to 100 bags of straight garbage. Rotting food, fruit flies, mold, and tons upon tons of paper and stuff. I found I could almost gauge what was happening in her life because the stuff was in layers. I was so sad. I didn't take pictures because it was such a horror. Now I regret it because what we did was an amazing accomplishment.
The rental agency was very understanding and had no problem that I filled thei r dumpsters over and over again. They have about 20 or more of them. Big ones. And their staff was quite caring. I understand what's going on and I'm even more saddened to know that few people can escape this behavior without serious long term attention and help.
But, I sympathize with all the responses about family in denial. How can one get people to see that the problem MUST be dealt with.
I'm sure the piles of garbage were responsible for my sister's death. I kept my sister's cedar chest and my garage is full of stuff that should sell in a garage sale (can't wait to get it gone) because I want no part of it.
I see people stating what impact it will have on family who are left do deal with this after parents, siblings die and let me say, it has been a real struggle to maintain my memory of my sister without the emotional angst that the clean up had on me and my family. I know confronted with such a disaster again, I will walk away from it. Leave it to the authorities to seize and repossess.
My sister had no estate. the loss of the money investment was but money, I can always make more, but the emotional distress had real impact and I can't even drive by her old condo and this happened 9 months ago. My wife is a compulsive shopper who can't resist the deals. Now I'm stressed and worried where it can lead.
How far must I go to make a stand on limits? How do I apply and get agreement on these limits? The kids are almost all gone and the empty nest has no empty nest spaces. So I see the threat.
For a site to provide some comfort to those dealing with hoarders, it lets us know we are not alone in this situation, it doesn't give a lot of comfort beyond that, does it? A match in hindsight might have been more comforting. Dealing with regrets might have been easier.
Relationship = brother
30.
Nov 23 2007
I watched both shows and Oprah (and her team) did an amazing job here. There are several angles, I am sure, the show could have taken. Only Oprah would portray this story with such class and respect. This family was extremely brave to put themselves out there. Their story will inspire thousands, if not millions. Letting the world follow them through this emotional process for 8 weeks was extremely generous. I am especially proud of Sharon and Marvin for agreeing to get the help (first HUGE step), working tirelessly day in and day out, allowing Peter to guide the way, and going on the most-watched talk show in the world, with their uncomfortable secret, so as to help others. This took great courage and became a win-win. The couple got a clean and healthy home (a new beginning) and compulsive hoarders everywhere got to see that they are not alone. Others, facing this challenge, now have hope, understanding and available tools. I've already read about dozens of people whom have been inspired to de-clutter their lives, as a result of these shows. Bravo to this family for sharing their struggles and successes with the world...God Bless!
Relationship =
Son Rating = 5
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