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Growing Up Stories: Story from a daughter with hoarding tendencies too 
Growing Up COH and Adult COH Experiences

I was wondering if developing this problem
yourself is common or am I the exception?  If anyone knows comments
would be greatly appreciated.  I know what a normal house should look
like, I just don't know how to do it....



Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on Tuesday,
February 26th, 2008 at 02:34 AM.


Relationship : daughter
Source : goodsearch search engine
Message :  

I have a pretty extreme situation with hoarding.  I grew up
with a hoarder, my mother.  I dealt with depression and a fear of
hiding my whole life.  I understand she has a problem, but the anger you
feel towards that person is uncontrollable.  I try to be patient and
understanding but it's hard.You can only show the world  a face of someone
pretending to be normal. 

I finally moved out of my parents house, but
they moved with me.  Trying to live out of that house was just too much
for them.  They eventually lost the house and it was condemned.   My
dad has since passed away and now my house is uncontrolable. 

I don't know if being away from my mom would completely help because I now have
problems too.  I know inside there is a woman screaming that wants order
but I don't know how to bring her out.  My mother has health problems
now and is not a lot of help. 

She doesn't clean or even try to throw
stuff out unless there is an "emergency".  She will never get help for
this I know.  I need help dealing with the pain of this disorder.  I
would almost like to start a support group in my area but need to get my
life in order myself first.  I was wondering if developing this problem
yourself is common or am I the exception?  If anyone knows comments
would be greatly appreciated.  I know what a normal house should look
like, I just don't know how to do it.


Posted on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 @ 01:39:50 ICT by Donna
Story from a daughter with hoarding tendencies too | Login/Create an Account | 2 comments | Search Discussion
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Re: Story from a daughter with hoarding tendencies too (Score: 1)
by shorty on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 @ 13:29:52 ICT
(User Info | Send a Message)

Welcome. I am no expert ... but consider that you grew up with no model on how to keep a "normal" home. I would suggest you start, if you haven't already, by making your bedroom your sanctuary. Make it clear to your mother she is not allowed to "Store" or keep things there. This is where making it normal can begin. Start by decluttering your own things ... clothes you don't wear, out of style jewelery, shoes that aren't comfortable. I too grew up with someone who usually cleaned in emergencies (holidays, the heating man has to get in, etc.) ... so I have found help at flylady.net. Donna has a link here and some info on a special flylady link for hoarders. The amount of email will seem overwhelming, but it will help you to build some regular routines.

I would suggest that you follow her 15 min. a day of decluttering rule ... and truly allow yourself to stop and understand it did not build up overnight and won't go away overnight.

I guess my strategy would be to tell my mother that this is MY home ... and as I declutter areas she is to respect that. You can start however makes sense to you ... the linen closet or the living room? As you clear out the pathways, closets, drawers, etc., it will make keeping the things you truly need easier as you will have a place to keep them.

hope that helps ...





Re: Story from a daughter with hoarding tendencies too (Score: 1)
by angmari on Tuesday, February 26, 2008 @ 21:17:33 ICT
(User Info | Send a Message)

Thank you!

]

 
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