I love my mom so much, yet I resent her
very much at the same time...

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This form was submitted:  Nov 19 2007 / 17:17:00
 Daughter
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I don't even know where to start.  Basically my whole life
revolved around my dream of my mother somehow miraculously cleaning up
our house.  I don't know how many times I was promised that I would have
a clean home, have friends over, etc. etc. 

My first initial
devastation with this was in third grade when my best friend's (who had never
been invited over up until this point) parents asked if she could stay
the night with me.  Of course, my mom said "yes" to her parents and told
me she would clean up, which might I add would have taken months but at
age eight you I didn't know this.  My friend came over and boy was I
embarrassed.  I can't even explain how awful I felt.  She came from this
perfect beautiful home and she had to see this.  It was beyond terrible. 

You can barely walk in my house and it's not very clean.  I never
had friends over growing up and I still am very angry at my mother for
this.  I feel like my prime socialization years were completed sabotaged by my mother's house
and it was so embarrassing to not be able to
invite any friends over and to have to keep explaining to them over
and over again. 

While she is extremely generous and seems to live a
normal life on the outside, it is anything but.  She is in real estate too
which makes the situation even more ironic.  However, it's hard to be
too mad at her because she has sacrificed a lot for me and gave me so
many opportunities.  I can't even count all the times I asked my mom if
she would clean up and she would get defensive and angry at me and act
like it's my fault. 

Her excuse was always that she didn't have very
much help (she's a single mom) and that my brother and I didn't do
anything to help her.  She shops all the time and just can't throw out
anything.  Anyway, now that I am an adult, she is still like that and I don't
see her changing no matter how many times I ask her to change.  I think
it's a serious disorder.  I love my mom so much, yet I resent her
very much at the same time.