The hot button for her leaving, was my father had
arranged for the school psychologist to recommend some help for his
sons depression, who I might add is a tragedy that can’t be told here
and I am sure you understand why he has problems. My father has been left
with brief contact with him and which always comes with a request to
do something for her.

===
To his credit he has nearly filled 2x40’ sea containers with her
‘acquisitions’, 5 garbage skips and during a one day auction, he raised
over $12,000. He is about half way thought the sorting.
===

I believe she found the perfect source of energy for her compulsion in
my Father and he only became redundant when he ran out of momentum and
money. ..

MESSAGE SENT THROUGH WEBSITE

This form was submitted:  Jan 03 2008 / 08:35:54
Stepson
HearAboutUs = Readers Digest
feedback =

This is as hard to start as it is for a hoarder to admit
they have a problem.

My father married a 30 yo hoarder when he was 50 and her issues only
became evident over time, she cleverly disguised them for 12 or more
years. However after 20 years of marriage after moving back to their
residence, having been working away on a mining construction sites for over 5
years.

She had accumulated a twin door machinery shed, 100’ x 100’, 90%
full to the 60’ ceiling of ‘acquisitions’. The portion that was
left was the living area 20’ x 20’ x7’, my father built for weekend
trips to the property it was on. This area which was cluttered, but
better to move around was really inadequate to live in, with 2 rooms,
laundry/bathroom and kitchen/lounge/bedroom. My father built extensive
storage systems above the living area and in the shed for her
’acquisitions’. Naturally I can’t elaborate the true extent here, but a
glimpse of her ‘issue’ was the ‘5 hens and rooster that became over
250. With time there was 30 ducks and over 40 geese included in the
chicken yard Dad built. As you might imagine the grain bill was incredible.

Due to her desire for my father, then 70 to build house/tourist
farmstay/guesthouse on the hundred acre property and move out of the
‘implement shed’, she sold their city residence to pay for the new building.
Sadly over the next 8 years she spent all the money from the home sale
on new schemes, more courses, and ‘acquisitions’ that she squeezed
into the shed and in relatives homes. My father has since sold the
floor tiles, windows, general fittings, and the framing and roofing he
welded.

Needless to say this all came to a head when there was no money left,
as my father’s ability to earn after 75 was starting to reduce, he was
just getting tired! She left him with over $20,000 of credit card
debt, numerous bills, over $50,000 in total and took their 12 yo old son,
my stepbrother away from him. She told everyone in his rural community
‘that it was his fault he didn’t build the home and she could not
take it any longer!’ The hot button for her leaving, was my father had
arranged for the school psychologist to recommend some help for his
sons depression, who I might add is a tragedy that can’t be told here
and I am sure you understand why he has problems. My father has been left
with brief contact with him and which always comes with a request to
do something for her.

She has recently returned from a European trip of the finest hotels and
venues along with her sisters. Using her mothers savings, having been
given power of attorney over her Alzheimer afflicted mothers estate.
Moving in with her mother after mooching around various family members
homes with my stepbrother over the last two years. The twin garage of her
mothers home 6 months later is now full of more ‘acquisitions’ as
is the house. According to Dad’s Christmas report, there is just
walking path room around the home now. At least she has a new source of
funds that aren’t from my father’s efforts.

Over the years her hoarding included, catering equipment, designer
shoes on sale at half price, over 5 clothes removal cartons full in the
original boxes, my guesstimate is over $50,000 in shoes that don’t fit!
Crockery, cutlery, over $8,000 in cake making equipment, $50,000+ of
new replica antique furniture, many new electrical cooking appliances, 2
chest freezers full of food, dry goods over 5 years worth. etc.etc. The
list is only ¼ way through, I am sure you get the first hints of the
true picture.

My father has never been happier these days as she has been gone just
over two years.
Dad rings me when he unpacks another removal box full of thousands of
birthday candles, or hundreds glasses, we have a laugh and I try to make
him see the funny side.


To his credit he has nearly filled 2x40’ sea containers with her
‘acquisitions’, 5 garbage skips and during a one day auction, he raised
over $12,000. He is about half way thought the sorting.  Sorting that
is to find our family heirlooms amongst the mass of her
‘acquisitions’. The sea containers will be delivered to her home once he has filled
them and inventoried them. He also paid her debts off in less than 6
months by working part time and found it easy with out the constant
drain from his bank account.

My father is a Jehovah’s Witness, she is not, and has hidden this
problem from the congregation for all his married life. Now she is gone
they found out and have rallied around to help. But he feels he has
allowed her to create this problem and so feels obligated to right the the
wrong. This is the reason he stayed with her as well, and doesn’t talk
of divorce!

I know what you think and I can tell you now, he has been told.

Dad is a man of conviction and will complete the job. Just as he did by
designing and planting and nurturing a 2 acre fruit orchard for her,
designed and maintained a rural a water supply, cropped and stocked the
100 hundred acres, built fire breaks, worked part time as business
mentor and consultant and so on. He just loves to keep busy and complete
projects, part of his professional electrical engineers mindset.

I believe she found the perfect source of energy for her compulsion in
my Father and he only became redundant when he ran out of momentum and
money.

I thank you for the COH site as it has helped us all. Wishing you all
well.