There needs to be a serious
intervention but how to do this without alienating her?  There is more to the
hoarding, such as compulsive eating, spending, shopping, lying, but
being a guest in their home really limits me to being able to offer any
help.  I'm overstepping boundaries, I feel, even writing this.  But I
believe that they're going to be if not already are in, great financial
danger.  My father feels so helpless as she uses emotionalism, shaking,
tears, silence to control. ..

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on
Thursday, March 6th, 2008 at 11:35 PM.


Relationship : ACOH
Source : Internet Search
Message :

A significant person in my life is a self-proclaimed
personwith  OCD and is very visibly a Hoarder though she feels she is more a
"perfectionist".  I now understand that hoarding is perfectionism taken
to the extreme.  I gave her an article to clarify the subject of
hoarding because my father's and her home is a really lovely and expensive
home that is so full of bills, statements, greeting cards, wrapping paper,
thousands of dollars in gift that have never been sent to the
recipients. 

Were my husband and I not staying temporarily in their guest room,
the bathroom counters, tub would be filled/covered with boxes,
catalogs, bills, checkbooks, ad nauseum.  She'd let me clean up what I could
of her mother's wing of the house and I was able to clear the bed off,
only to see that two days later, it was covered with boxes and boxes of
greeting cards!  The dining room is filled to capacity from floor to
tables, yes TABLES as she borrowed a table to set more stuff on from the
neighbor.  More importantlya and of course, being an overcontroller
who's out of control, no one can help with anything.  I believe my main
concern though is, that she has let their finances plummet with possibly
more than two years of tax returns left unfiled with taxes and
penalties now do!  My father is somewhat older and is just beside himself,
feeling trapped by her mental illness. 

There needs to be a serious
intervention but how to do this without alienating her?  There is more to the
hoarding, such as compulsive eating, spending, shopping, lying, but
being a guest in their home really limits me to being able to offer any
help.  I'm overstepping boundaries, I feel, even writing this.  But I
believe that they're going to be if not already are in, great financial
danger.  My father feels so helpless as she uses emotionalism, shaking,
tears, silence to control. 

There is so much more but this rather states
an urgency to get help.  Thanks for any help you may suggest.