I wish I had found this site five years ago, when I helped my
Dad clean my great-uncle's house after the Board of Health threatened
to condemn it...

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on
Thursday, March 13th, 2008 at 01:05 AM.


Relationship : Grand-niece
Source : Via unclutterer.com
Message :

I wish I had found this site five years ago, when I helped my
Dad clean my great-uncle's house after the Board of Health threatened
to condemn it. To make a familiar story short, Uncle is a bachelor,
was
in his mid-80s at the time, had lost his closest and most supportive
sibling (my Dad's father) a couple of years before, and his
cooking/housecleaning/toileting was complicated by tremors from his
congenital
cerebral palsy. He also fed every stray cat in the neighborhood and
left
the door open so that they could come and go. The resulting mess -- a
tide line of cat prints, aging cans of 9 Lives and piles of feces,
spoiled
potatoes, dirty laundry, cooking spills, and garbage -- covered the
first floor of the house. Dad and I wore painters' Tyvek suits for the
initial shoveling-out and washing, and a group of us painted, fixed
plumbing, retiled the linoleum, and replaced the fridge/stove (without
emptying them). I felt so sad for Uncle in his obvious depression,
guilty
that I hadn't much of a relationship with him since childhood,
embarrassed that Elder Services would think my grandfather and father
didn't care
about him, and conflicted, because I knew he wanted to live
independently as long as he could, but I didn't think he could handle
it anymore.
The Board of Health permitted him to return home, and several of us
(relatives) tried to keep things on an even keel with the help of
Meals
on Wheels, county-sponsored home aides, and the local no-kill cat
shelter. My attempt to reduce the number of cats (25+) through
adoption and
spay/release programs provoked a couple of really nasty verbal
outbursts
from him, and it was all I could do to remember the love and
friendship that had grown between us. Sometimes it felt like I was
betraying him
instead of helping him stay in his home. We all managed to hang on
(not at the initial level of cleanliness, unfortunately -- it was
impossible) until he developed a severe kidney infection one year ago.
This
forced him to convalesce at a nursing home, where he has moved from
the
rehab wing to a regular room. He's 89 now and is still one of the
sharpest residents at the home. The staff loves to joke with him, and
he says
that he has never had so much attention from women (nurses) in his
life. I feel that he is finally safe and well cared-for, but I still
wrestle with all the feelings that his house brought up. Why didn't
anyone in
the family do something sooner? Why couldn't he just put things in the
garbage? Why wasn't one cat, or three cats, or even five cats, enough?
I am still reading and understanding what happened there. Thank you so
much for this site.