I am a child of a pair of compulsive hoarders.  Not only are
my parents both hoarders, but the generation before them also exhibited
this behavior as did the geneneration preceding that one...

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on
Thursday, March 20th, 2008 at 08:19 PM.


Relationship : Child
Source : Link from MSNBC
Message :

I am a child of a pair of compulsive hoarders.  Not only are
my parents both hoarders, but the generation before them also exhibited
this behavior as did the geneneration preceding that one.

My parents do not acknowledge their hoarding behavior to be an issue
despite the fact that they have not allowed myself or any of my siblings
to enter their house in the past eight years.  My children have never
been to grandpa and grandma's house in their entire lives.  My parents
just offer to come visit us and stay with us instead anytime I bring up
the idea of possibly going to their house for a visit.  They will
sometimes offer to put us up in a hotel because their house is on a farm and
their water & sewer system can't handle a lot of people... or whatever
excuse they have for the day.

My father's Family

I grew up in a farm house that was passed on from generations.  The
house was built in 1908 and thank God it was well built because it has
held enormous amounts of material over the years!  Relatives have told me
about how the house was never open to company because it was always so
cluttered -- this was four generations ago.  It never changed through
time.

My Mother's Family

My grandfathers house was stacked with stuff from floor to ceiling (and
I do mean ceiling as in touching the ceiling).  Little paths snaked
through the house to enable a person to sort of meander from one room to
another.  When he was in his 80s he moved in to our house and lived
with us for another two decades.  At our house he was unable to continue
his hoarding behavior because there simply wasn't room -- he had a
single bedroom in our house.

My Aunt (my mother's sister) built a storage shed -- 20'x40' -- on my
parents' farm to store some of her extra treasures.  After my
grandfather moved into my childhood home, my aunt decided that his house was an
additional storage facility for her treasures too.  While it was full to
begin with, she managed to take full to a whole new level.  She
introduced the concept of air-tight compression packing to his home --
filling in every possible nook and cranny with stuff.  I marvel at how this
little lady was able to maneuver through it and get heavy boxes etc.
high up in the piles to keep filling the space.  My aunt also had her own
home filled end to end floor to ceiling with stuff.  When she
contemplated cleaning it out a bit once she bought an old school bus and
proceeded to transfer stuff from her house to the bus that she parked behind
it.  All that accomplished was freeing up some additional space in her
house for more stuff...

My aunt moved into a senior apartment where she had a new challenge --
new living quarters with lots of space for more stuff.  I'll bet you
can never guess what happened next?  Yes, she started to accumulate more
and more junk.  Far be it for anyone to throw out a newspaper or a
toilet paper tube... those things are handy to have around.  She continued
to fill her apartment up until she was threatened with eviction.  My
parents went to help her clean it up... and they rented a storage unit to
move her stuff into.  They did throw out some of her things that were
clearly destined for the garbage, but they couldn't see getting rid of
the rest so they stored it...

Her health deteriorated and she moved into a nursing home. There she
was not allowed to accumulate things.

My uncle also is a huge packrat.  He travels with briefcases and boxes
and bags of "important papers".  When he comes to visit he needs to
have a big table where he can spread out his nest of papers. 

My Immediate Family

During my youth my siblings and I were often told that the clutter in
our house was our fault -- our failure to pick up after ourselves etc.
  It was interesting to me that once all of us had grown up and moved
out, things really started to get in bad shape.  The house filled up --
and items started finding their way to a (50'x50') quanset. When my
father's parents passed away, we had to clean out their house to rent it
out.  Rather than tossing anything, my parents built ANOTHER shed just to
house their stuff.  It's been 22 years now and they still have never
managed to have time to "go through it" and get rid of anything.

Yes, the farm I grew up on is filled with buildings and sheds that are
homes to an enormous volume of "stuff".  When there's no more room,
another shed is built and the hoarding continues.

I couldn't bring friends or girlfriends to my home in my youth because
of the shame and humiliation of having such a messy house.  It impacted
my social life -- I had girlfriends who thought I was somehow ashamed
of them because I wouldn't bring them to my house.  I tried to tell
them why I couldn't but they didn't understand.

I wanted to challenge the people from the television show "Clean Sweep"
to come to my parent's house, my aunt's house and my grandfather's
house and have a "Clean Sweep Marathon" show.  I didn't think that they
would be happy trying to run a crew for several years to go through all
of the junk but it was always a fun thing to think about (and wish
for!!!)

My parents are now in their 70s and their hoarding is completely out of
control.  They have purchased items like a big television set that
sits in their garage because they can't get it inside the house due to all
of the junk in the way.  They won't allow anyone to set foot inside.
  I was visiting when I had to attend a funeral and they invited me to
their house.  When I arrived, they were sitting on lawn chairs ourside
and told me that I could not enter their house.  They were going to order
DSL for a high speed internet connection until they found out that
someone would have to come and enter the house to complete the
installation.

I speculate that they no longer prepare any food in their house.
  Whenver I talk to them they are eating at restaurants.

My siblings and I are all very concerned about their health and welfare
but any mention of it and we are immediately cut off or are given a
guilt trip about how hard life has been for them.  My mother can turn on
the tears at will and often does when any mention of getting out from
under the clutter comes up.  She blames my father for not being helpful
around the house and says that she can't do it on her own.  When
talking to him he jokes and says "When we die you'll have to clean up our
mess."  The idea of a firefighting training exercise comes to mind
whenever he says that...

Not all hope is lost however.  My generation -- myself and my siblings
-- exhibit no signs of hoarding.  If anything we go to the opposite
extreme in getting rid of as much as possible.