Story from a coh who is "the parent" - Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on Tuesday, April 29th, 2008 at 08:25 AM. Relationship : Parent Source :

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Re: Story from a coh who is (Score: 1)
by norse701 on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @ 05:26:30 ICT
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This probably isn't the answer you are expecting, but please read it a few times, then go away and think about it for a while before you decide that I am a mean nasty ungrateful COH.

From your post, it's pretty obvious that you're right, you and your sister are the adults, and she's the child. Not only is she the child, but she's that little brat that has figured out how to completely control the parents with her temper tantrums, and poutfests. She has the two of you wrapped around her little finger, and appears to be enjoying making the two of you dance to her tune.

So how do you raise a brat to become a decent human being? It can be done, but you have to be ruthlessly consistent. "Mom, if I continue to live here, things have to change. I can't continue to live here like this. I can leave and get my own place or I can stay here, but if you want me to stay and continue our little arrangement, there are some new ground rules. Your room is yours, my room is mine, the rest of the house is communal. We SHARE it. If you have something sitting on the living room floor for 24 hours it gets a tag. If it is tagged for 24 hours it gets thrown out.

If she refuses, you have given her a clear choice and she has made it. You can go get your own place with no regrets or guilt.

Please think seriously about it.

Good luck!

Re: Story from a coh who is (Score: 1)
by cnel on Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @ 21:46:59 ICT
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Please get your own life... do not let her ruin your life. Cut her off and move into your own place. In fact, move as soon as you can, as far away as you can. The distance makes it much easier.

But of course, I tend to cope by running away from my problems.

Re: Story from a coh (Score: 1)
by Rachel98765 on Tuesday, May 13, 2008 @ 14:58:39 ICT
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I know how it feels... I moved out of my mothers mess but I still try to make her see the light... For 18 years I have tried to help her and for 18 years she still will not change... It is her choice to be this way so nothing you or I say will mean anything tell she wants it.... I don't relate well with my peers as well. Most people do not understand when you say "I'm raising my mother". I really understand the war you are in because I fight the same war. In the end the only thing you can change is the hurt you feel... Give her all the info, buy all the books, give her the numbers too call, tell her your a phone call away when she really wants help... then let her make the choice for her self... this is really all you can do for her... heal the hurt you feel and be the wonderful person that we know you are......