thank you
to the site and to everyone who posts their stories they have really helped me to
feel I am not alone

My mom used to tell me that if my friends ever saw the
inside they wouldn't like me any more.  When she wasn't home I would take my
friends in to show them because I couldn't stand the suspense of waiting for them
to find out

I'm trying to constantly remind him that we love
him (and all his quirks) - and that he is so much more than his "stuff."

I miss her, and my kids love
their Grandma, but it's such unnecessary stress for me!

Should I just give up and invite my parents to my house to spend time
together instead of spending frustrating weekends cleaning to find there house back
to the way it was when I return???

The toll its taking on my siblings is different for all of us.

My father recently passed away, and it was then that I discovered my
father was a hoarder.

My Mother passed away 2
years ago now and I too have been having trouble mourning because half the time I am
mad at her for leaving me such a mess to clean up!

I really don't know any
other hoarders, and I'm specificallly wondering if there are any only children that
might be dealing with this. 

I love and hate my parents so much. My mother for living and accepting that life,
and my father for for leaving us to deal with it.

I am the most vocal
and up front with my concern of the family.  My father is an enabler.  I feel he
could be more authoritative with my mother.

my mom passed away a year and a half ago

until i watched the dr. phil episode i didn't think
hoarding was a real thing

I know that she is a hoarder and I am terrified
that someday I will take on this trait

When I was growing up,
she was an angry, vindictive person and the target for her rage was me

The bad part is one sister thinks she is just fine.  Even with the 3 dogs that pee in the house...

It hurts to know this will continue to get worse until the house catches fire or she passes away...

I'm at my wit's end. Who do I turn to? I'm so tired of leaning on my friends and my son just to get through another day of this insanity. They are sick of hearing about it, but being polite and listening anyway. I just don't want to have to burden them anymore...

Being around a mess, I started to find messes normal...

I feel truly conflicted about the whole situation. Half of me understands that this is a battle with a major illness and wants to get her help and feels bad for her. The other half of me is so angry with her. How could she do this is to me and our family. All the years of shame, guilt trips, embarrassment, manipulation, frustration, pain...? ,,,

I am a 33 year old woman who has 2 daughters.  My Mother is a hoarder.  My children have never been to their Grandma and Grandpa's home...

How can I help her?  She's been threatening to have a big sale but it's too overwhelming for everyone.  I suggested that we hire an estate company and she refuses.  Many of the things she has are valuable antiques, but she is attached to everyone last of them.   I'm at a loss.

My mother's hoarding is a challenge I am faced with, but it doesn't make me a bad person and I am not alone...

Like her mother, my mother was a terrible housekeeper and an unattentive parent. She spent most of my early childhood years on the couch watching soap operas and the Price is Right and reading True Romance magazines while the dishes built up in the sink and the laundry built up everywhere....

I feel horrible for saying so because I love him so much,...

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on Sunday, September 14th, 2008 at 09:18 PM.


Relationship : daughter of a hoarder
Source : newspaper article
Message :

As a 54 year old, I still carry the scars and burden of being raised by a hoarder.  Having to keep secret the condition of our house affected the way I related to other people.

Below is the result of a feedback form. It was submitted on Saturday, September 6th, 2008 at 05:10 AM.


Relationship : my whole family, mom,dad,sister and brothers

Source : thru a google search on clutter which did not capture the issue
Message :

I have been reading on this site all day and at first was feeling obssesive until I read someone who said , ' it is not just about the piles " and then I began to cry.

I am tearful as I write this now. For years they have called me names. like  " neat freak" " snobby" "ocd" "clean freak" etc... according to them I am the one with issues, I" waste things" and have "no appreciation" and I "do not like them" and I"think they are slobs"  I have never said any of those things to them.

 I have always known there was something different about their relationship with things and tried to focus on other matters when talking and visiting with them. But it is the other ways that the dysfunction revelas itself that hurt also.

Only one of my 5 siblings has ever been to my home, my parents never. I am 52 years old and realizing they are never going to come and our family will never be a family and it never was. It is as if I have woken up an orphan who has always been an orphan and who will die an orphan. It helps to know others have been where I am, in a way. In another way it makes me sad that others have known this pain.

Message :

I have registered and viewed many of the pictures and stories, but never told my family's story.
My mother-in-law is a compulsive hoarder and shopper and it is really starting to have an effect on my entire family.  Although her home is not nearly as bad as many of the pictures I've seen on this site, it is getting there.  My husband and I hate going to my in-law's house.  It is getting to the point that I actually have an upset stomach when I know I have to visit.  It usually takes my husband at least a hour to calm down after a visit.  Now my seven year old daughter is starting to not want to go to her grandparents house because of the clutter.  ...

I grew up thinking hoarding was somewhat normal. I thought some people were just "messy". I had no clue it was a psychological issue. I assumed that if it was a psychological issue my mom's husband would have addressed the situation. I guess he was too busy working to handle other people's psychological issues at work. My mom has been married to a Psychiatrist since I was 2. ...

Below is the result of an anonymous feedback form. It was submitted on Monday, August 18th, 2008 at 07:24 AM to the COH website:


Relationship : mother
Source : ask.com
Message :

I'm 20 yrs old and live with my mother who has been a horder all my life. My whole child hood I never had friends over to spend the night  or to play b/c of all the clutter and mess. My father died when I was 12 yrs old and my brother was 15 and mover out of the clutter filled house when he was 17. I was left with my mother and her depression and clutter. I would try to clean up a room one at a time and some how 2 or 3 days after I had cleaned it. It would be a mess again. Its a battle with her to throw something alway. Our house that we lived in since I was born burned down June of last year. Since then we have been living in a rental house. I thought that hey we have no stuff to make clutter it will be a fresh start. Well I was wrong. I can barely move in all this stuff and over half of it we dont even use or need. I often have a bad attitude with my mother and sometimes yell at her for little things b/c what I live in drives me crazy. I cant stand it.  I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help her.