Readers Digest UK Article: "When Clutter Goes Out of Control"
By Deborah Branscrum
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UK Resources-for more advice and support:
OCD UK, OCD Action, First Steps: National Phobics Society: Anxiety Care: No More Clutter:
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When Clutter Goes Out of Control
Saving stuff is normal. Sometimes, though, it can go too far
By Deborah Branscum
A fresh-faced young music teacher at 29, Jane Kellaway had no idea that her new husband Graham, an accountant, had a problem with hoarding. But after they married in 1975, their Midlands home soon became stuffed with packaging, newspapers, old letters and cards that Graham refused to throw away. Items that he felt might come in useful one day began to pile up on the landing.
Moving house ten years later made little difference; the clutter simply moved with them. “Several rooms became inaccessible,” says Jane. “I was embarrassed if anyone came into the house. My social life—and the children’s—ground to a halt.” Only when the Kelloways’ young son Simon was referred for treatment for behavioural problems did a psychiatrist finally diagnose Graham as suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). But he refused to accept it. Seven years ago, after suffering a breakdown, Jane threatened to leave Graham if he did not seek help. At last he agreed.
Now husband and wife are receiving psychological treatment from a private doctor. Jane says therapy has helped her understand her husband’s disorder and what drives it. He, in turn, is beginning to respond. With the help of their daughter, he has cleared out a spare bedroom crammed full of old furniture and books so that their grandson can now come to stay.
Dangerous Compulsion
Saving stuff, in moderation, is usually considered normal. But this healthy impulse can go too far and develop into what some experts consider a clinical obsessive-compulsive disorder. Compulsive hoarding affects people of all ages, nationalities and backgrounds. In Britain as many as 600,000 people may be afflicted at some level by a condition that cannot be chalked up to eccentricity or a character flaw. It’s more serious and harder to control than that.
“This isn’t a problem of laziness or negligence,” explains Paul Salkovskis, professor of clinical psychology and applied science at the Institute of Psychiatry, King’s College London. “It’s a psychiatric disorder, unlikely to get better without specialist help.”
It can lead to tragedy. One famous case involved the wealthy and reclusive Collyer brothers. In 1947, their bodies were discovered in a crumbling New York mansion packed with more than 100 tons of junk. Last year, a woman in the state of Washington was smothered when a massive pile of clothes toppled on her. And a few fatal fires have made headlines. Hoarders tend to fill their homes with flammable material and often block exits in the process, which can make escaping a fire impossible.
Last November, firemen battled to reach Bryan Hughes, 77, in his burning home in Vange, Essex. “The house was stuffed with furniture, old electrical appliances, books, papers, photos and videos,” recalls Nigel Dilley, station commander of Basildon fire service. “Men in breathing apparatus had to fight their way down a corridor 18 inches wide between mountains of possessions to where Bryan lay in the kitchen, overcome by smoke.”
Hoarders often require extensive therapy, warns Professor Salkovskis. But many deny they have too much stuff or that the clutter is a problem. And those who do seek help cannot always find or afford the most effective treatment: cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), sometimes paired with medication.
“There are fewer than 50 CBT therapists across the whole of the UK with the expertise to treat severe hoarding problems,” says Salkovskis. “In some areas, the only treatment available through a GP is counselling, which is unlikely to help.”
And it’s a myth that hoarders keep only junk. Like the rest of us, they may save things that are useful, attractive or have sentimental value, says Satwant Singh, a nurse consultant in CBT and mental health who runs help groups for hoarders in Newham, east London. The difference is that hoarders often find beauty, utility and meaning where others don’t.
Most people, for example, recycle an old newspaper without a second thought. But a hoarder who saves old newspapers may see an archive of valuable, potentially life-changing information. From that perspective, discarding a newspaper is wasteful, foolish, perhaps even a personal failure. And so this clinical disorder transforms the everyday act of throwing something away into a wrenching, personal violation.
Organisation is also a nightmare. According to Singh, compulsive hoarders have difficulty judging which items are truly useful. They find it hard to make decisions and worry that objects stored out of sight will be forgotten. They might leave clothes on top of a chest of drawers, for example, instead of putting them away. Over time, a few items piled here and there grow into mountains of dangerous clutter.
How dangerous? The dust, mildew, mould and mouse droppings commonly found in extreme clutter can irritate allergies or lead to headaches or respiratory problems such as asthma for hoarders and their families. In some cases home maintenance suffers so individuals may endure leaks and winters without heat, and clutter may make it impossible to open windows. It also places hoarders and their families, especially the elderly, at high risk of injuring themselves in a fall.
How the Family Suffers
Family members often feel angry and resentful about a hoarder’s seemingly inexplicable behaviour. And they can feel trapped and powerless, forced to stand by and honour a hoarder’s wish to be left alone.
By the time Eugenia Lester’s children intervened in 2005, the 60-year-old former businesswoman was sleeping in the garden of her California home. Piles of stuff blocked every door of the house, which could be entered only through a window.
Neighbours had circulated a petition to force Eugenia out of the area and she was taken to court for failing to clean the property, says her daughter Cynthia, a 28-year-old film-maker from New York. Even as rats rooted through refuse in the uninhabitable home, Eugenia was unable to acknowledge the dangers she faced.
Eugenia’s son Brian, 25, says cleaning out his mother’s home was like working at a landfill. “Everything inside was rotted and mildewed,” he says. “It looked like the city dump. There was stuff piled up about four feet high—rubbish, pictures, clothes, newspapers.” Household leaks meant the bottom layer was wet; the entire house stank.
It took Eugenia’s children eight weeks and great expense to empty the place—and her disorder made her anything but grateful when she returned home after the clean-up. “I hate you people; you robbed me,” she shouted, then started weeping. A few weeks later she was so depressed she needed emergency care.
Nearly two years after the painful intervention, Eugenia seems to be doing much better and the family are closer and happier, says Cynthia. But she is still trying to arrange appropriate treatment for her mother’s condition.
Forcible clean-ups are risky; hoarders and their families pay a toll for interventions. “Family members who try to help can suffer the wrath of their loved one when their problem is exposed,” says Satwant Singh. Cynthia Lester believes her mother may never forgive her.
But relatives argue that they don’t always have a choice. “The line we hear from professionals is, ‘If they aren’t a danger to others, then they have a right to live how they want,’ ” says Donna Austin, who founded the Children of Hoarders online support group (www.childrenofhoarders.com). “When an ageing parent runs the risk of slipping on glossy magazines and breaking a hip, or lives in a fire hazard, it’s not so easy to stand by and do nothing.”
If families must confront the hoarder, Professor Salkovskis advises they do it with the help of an experienced therapist who can explain how it’s possible to live in a different way. “You can’t coerce people out of anxiety,” he says. “But if a household clearance is agreed in advance it can often provide great relief for the hoarder.”
Clearing a clutter-ridden home is so stressful that family members are often tempted simply to trash everything, which adds to the hoarder’s distress. And there’s more to clearance than filling skips. Firms offering such services have uncovered valuable jewellery and important documents for clients, who sometimes mix treasures with rubbish.
Not Cured but Under Control
The psychological damage endured by hoarders and their families should never be underestimated. Nonetheless, with the right therapy and personal motivation, people afflicted for years by this painful disorder have turned their lives round.
Life did not turn out as Sue Howard imagined when she married in 1988 and joined her husband in satisfying but low-paying church work in the small town of Nacogdoches, Texas. Sue’s family grew at a much faster rate than their modest income. Soon the financial struggle became overwhelming.
About nine years ago, Sue, now 42, began to feel trapped by poverty. “I thought, ‘What can I do? I’ll do what my grandma did.’ ” From that moment, she refused to discard anything she considered potentially useful.
In 2001, Sue began selling books online. She took pride in snapping up bargains for her four children and her business at second-hand shops and car-boot sales. But those bargains gradually took over, adding to the tension of an already troubled marriage. The scuffed kitchen floor was sometimes sticky, and appliances, including the dishwasher and fridge, were often broken. Sue was too embarrassed to allow a stranger in to do repairs and too overwhelmed to clean up a home filled with clutter. Every time the doorbell rang, her stomach knotted in fear.
During a big clean-up in 2002, Sue worried that her husband was throwing out too much, so she hid a few bags destined for the dump. As he returned them to the rubbish pile, she begged to keep them—even though she wasn’t sure what they held. And she wondered, “Is this what drug addicts do, begging to keep their drugs?”
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Photographed by Wyatt McSpadden |
Between 2002 and 2005, social workers visited Sue’s home at least five times in response to anonymous calls. They gave Sue and her husband time to clean up the property, which they always did. But last May, Sue had separated from her husband and had been bringing up Kelsie, 16, Zachary, 15, Clay, ten, and Ben, eight, on her own for almost a year and a half. After a therapist suggested Sue might be a hoarder, she found information and support on the Yahoo! Messiness-and-Hoarding online self-help group. Despite efforts to declutter, though, her house never stayed clean, and a social worker told her to move the children to their father’s flat.
Having her children taken away from her forced Sue to recognise how she had sabotaged decluttering efforts by continuing to bring new stuff home. Since that has stopped, she says, much of the household clutter is gone—but there’s still more to do. “My children mean everything to me and I’ve worked very hard in my fight to get them back.”
The newly spacious home is a pleasure for Sue Howard and her children, who now live there at weekends. Sue’s fight isn’t over and she will probably face a lifelong battle against her compulsion. “I’ll still have hoarding tendencies,” she says, “but I just have to keep on telling my brain the truth.”
Could you be a hoarder? Click Here to take our online test
And for more advice and support:
OCD UK: http://www.ocduk.org/
OCD Action: http://www.ocdaction.org.uk/
First Steps: http://www.first-steps.org/
National Phobics Society: http://www.phobics-society.org.uk/
Anxiety Care: http://www.anxietycare.org.uk/
No More Clutter: http://www.nomoreclutter.co.uk/