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I am now the problem.  I am in my 40s and am bringing up my children in
the same squalor...

This form was submitted:  Aug 27 2007 / 07:58:37

story = I need help.. I am so depressed.  i grew up in a home where we
had no place to sit.  We needed to clear paths to even walk.  We
couldn't use the kitchen to cook because all the dishes would be used and
piled up.  We ate fast food off paper plates on the floor.  I could never
have friends over.  I know this is a familiar story. 

I am now the problem.  I am in my 40s and am bringing up my children in
the same squalor.  I don't know how to fix it.  I don't want to be me.
  I despise myself for this mess. I always dreamed about being the mom
at whose house all the kids would gather to hang out.  I am not that
mom. My children deserve better than this.  I cry all the time.  I
fantasize about ending me so that they can find someone better.  Please help.