COH looking for advice-post a comment? - MESSAGE SENT THROUGH WEBSITE This form was submitted: Nov 04 2007 / 03:00:49 HearAboutUs = Reader's Digest

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Re: COH looking for advice-post a comment? (Score: 1)
by scarred4life on Tuesday, November 06, 2007 @ 14:30:58 ICT
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Hi,

I understand exactly where you are coming from because I have been there. Keeping the secret was simply exhausting. What I ended up doing was printing a copy of the brochure from this site and sitting down with my boyfriend and simply told him everything. About growing up. About how they live now. All of it. I guess I just came to the realization that I am not my mother's hoarding and although that has helped shape who I am, it does not define me.

My boyfriend was very understanding. He had met my parents before and really liked them, so he was interested in how we could help them. Maybe you could introduce him to your parents in a neutral setting and then once he has met them you can tell him. All I know is that I felt like such a huge weight had been lifted after I told him. Good luck to you. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

Scarred4Life (Daughter of a Hoarder)

Re: COH looking for advice-post a comment? (Score: 1)
by jgow5150 on Tuesday, November 06, 2007 @ 22:45:51 ICT
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Just tell him. You are not your father! I know it's embarassing, believe me, my sister and I have been through it. And really, how much time do you have to spend there? That is until you have to clean it out. He won't understand what you are talking about unless he sees it, but then he will really understand. And last but not least, go out. Go out to dinner or lunch, and your place for holidays.

I would like feedback on how to tell my boyfriend about my father's hoarding problem. He keeps asking when I'll introduce him to my parents, who live 6 hours away. I can barely tolerate the mess and I dread bringing someone to it. Any advice is appreciated!