This form was submitted:  Nov 15 2007 / 15:16:10

I am in a terrible dilemna regarding what to do about my step-dads'
compulsive hoarding?...

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I am in a terrible dilemna regarding what to do about my step-dads'
compulsive hoarding?...

This is a complicated situation as he married my mother, a widow 17
years older than he who was a successful real estate saleswoman in
Northern VA. He proposed to her very soon after my Dad's passing. "B," became
step-father to me & my brother who lives in another part of VA. He has
3 grown sons as well.

   Here's the crux of the problem: my mother has alzheimer's & is being
cared for (very inadequately) by my step-dad in her once beautiful
home which is now a series of tunnels thru mounds of collected debris & junk.

My mother is suffering needlessly, has obvious serious cataracts &
bladder infections that my step-dad refuses to acknowledge or have properly
treated. He is stubborn & adament in the extreme, refuses to seek
decent professional care  for her eye & bladder conditions, or agree to pay
for good in home care OR consider an outside of home treatment
facility-- tho she MORE than earned the right to it.

He controls all financial aspects relative to my mother's assets- took
her to a lawyer & had her sign Wills & a Trust that tied all her
resources to him & his Trustees (all blood relatives of  his).

  What's going on re: our Mom is heart-breaking, but no one in our
small family has the courage to confront this agressive man & get help for
her to change this horrible situation!
 
What is hardest of all, is knowing Mom DOES understand she is trapped,
and there is no one genuinely helping her.
 
Any guidance & advice is gratefully appreciated!

HJB

*Please post your comments if you have advice for this person, thank you!