Are there
other family members ostracized from the clan out there? How do you deal
with the lose of one parent thru death and the other thru her petty
grudges...

Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted on Friday,
May 2nd, 2008 at 04:41 AM.


Relationship : daughter
Source : web
Message :

My Dad had terminal lung cancer.  He spent two weeks in
hospital, each day drs saying he wouldn't live thru the night.  But he kept
hanging in there.  ON a Friday afternoon, they decided he could come
home to die and Hospice nurses would be there daily.  

I am one of five
siblings.  We were mortified that they see the house that we let our
parents live in. You let parents live in this squalor?  Oh yes, we tried
for for years to haul junk to the dump, but Mom wouldn't have it.  We
mostly shuffled piles around. 

Well, we had till Monday afternoon to
clean a pathway from front door to Dad's room so they could bring hospital
bed.  We went further and threw out piles of trash and rotting food.
  Tried to do something about swarms of flies, gnats and maggots
co-inhabiting the house. 

We hauled five pickup truck loads of junk - this was
just from bedroom, livingroom and dining room.  You would have thought
Mom was dying instead of Dad.  and in the few remaining weeks he lived,
he vented anger towards us for what we did to Mom.  We only thought we
were helping.  If social workers saw condition of house, we thought
that both parents would be removed and property condemed.  Looking back
now I wish it had played out that way. 

For some reason, my Mom placed
the brunt of her anger on me.  I am the oldest daughter and have no
children to withhold from her, I guess.  We have not spoken in two years.
  None of my other siblings received this silent treatment. 

Are there
other family members ostracized from the clan out there? How do you deal
with the lose of one parent thru death and the other thru her petty
grudges. 

I receive no support from my siblings and have little to no
contact with them.  All because we tried to improve living conditions.  She
will not get therapy, nor will my brothers and sisters push her for it
since they are on her "good side."  I have come to term with the"
divorce " of my family, but it still gnaws away deep down inside.  She is in
poor health now, and I don't know if her time comes, will I even go to
funeral.  And do I just leave the house of trash to my siblings?