Who was allowed to see inside your house?

COH & ACOA Joined: Jul 22, 2006 Posts: 2032 Location: Cabo

Who was allowed to see inside your house?:
Were certain people not allowed to see or come in?
If so, how did that effect you?
Were all welcome inside?

COH Under 18 yrs. Joined: Feb 15, 2008 Posts: 95

I let my best friend in. He wouldn't go further than the foyer and I coaxed him into looking at the living room. He muttered something about having seen worse and was all nice but left. I saw him hit a dead run a few yards away from my house. Then I let these three dudes I know and am friends with in. One was really cool about it one didn't say much and the third got nervous. Everyone's cool and supposrtive but I'm pretty sure I've scared the living stew out of everyone I know. Of course my parents were gone all these times and it was pretty much a tour. We couldn't do anything. And a girl when I was like five. We ran in and out and no one really noticed because I did that all the time. Tose are the only people I've let in. My sister said she'd never told anyone at all about it not even her best friend and only her therapist now. I just tell everyone basically. An suprise! They don't think what my mom thinks they'd think (something along hte lines of a stereotypical ninteenfiftes desperate houswives gossip circle about how she's crazy)

Valued Member Joined: Apr 28, 2008 Posts: 13

no one was allowed in my house not even my grandmother. I had a friend when I was in elementary school that lived in the apartment building we lived in. She was on the same floor too. We had to have been around 9 or so. She would always let me come in to her place to get some juice and then we would go back out to play. She could never do that with me because for one, my mom didn't have fun food/juice, two...no clean dishes, three the house was a total wreck. I remember like it was yesterday...the last time I was in my friends house. Her mom yelled, don't let her in here if you can't go over her house. That really hurt and I didn't understand it then. The funny thing is that her mom had to seek shelter inside my apartment because her father found out where they were living way after her statement about me. My mom let her and my friend in....Karma allowed my friends' mom to see why my friend never came in. They moved and that was the end. So during high school, I never told anyone until someone came by on spur of moment. My best friend finally found out and she understood and stayed my friend and still is today. In my adult life, I am honest with my serious relationships. I told my ex husband while we were dating. Today, I told my boyfriend why he would never see my mom's place and will have to wait in the car. My brother on the other hand, seem to have picked women that keeps their homes the way we grew up and doesn't tell them about my mom. So his girlfriend of 10 or more years sits in the car when he comes to get something from my mom and the poor girl is thinking that my mom doesn't want her in the house. I watched it change how his girlfriend relates to my mom and to us...she feels unwanted and it's more that the house is crazy and technically, it's the same as theirs so why not tell?

Posted: Sat May 17, 2008 2:13 pm Post subject:

Most of my friends during grade school and middle school had been in my house or at least seen in the doors. My sister and I were embarrassed, but it was not too bad because it was just normal to us. We almost never had adults over though.
It wasn't as bad then because there was less stuff than in later years. It was still paths through all of the rooms, and once in a great while we had a great big open area in the living room. I mean it was a big area like 6 or 7 feet across where the floor was clear. Me and my best friend actually sat down and were able to play board games. I think other parents in the neighborhood probably felt our friends should be able to come over to our house more often, we just never invited anybody over. During the summer, we usually just played outside anyway, but we could always stop by and get a can of pop, but it was usually warm because there was no room in our fridge. But for most of them, even calling them friends was a stretch, mostly they were the ones that tolerated me hanging around and didn't tell me to go away. I was that smart dorky kid.
But my parents did do their share of driving us (who we could fit in the van) to the movies or video game place. Also we were always in the middle of middle class as far as money went (not ppor, not rich, but comfortable). If we went to friends houses (sometimes our parents would come over too to hang out with the other parents) we would always be able to bring over fast food or pizza or drinks for dinner. Also I know now, (without telling us) they helped our some of my friends families who were going through hard times once in a while. Usually it was with 'selling' items , $5 for my bike one time, $20 for my bunkbed another time. I think as long as my mom got even a little bit of money for something, she didn't have trouble letting some of the 'stuff' go. Even if we were actually using it. I went from a bunk bed (that never actually had a second family member in it - my sister had her own room) to sleeping on a bean bag for a few months. It didn't bother me, I thought it was pretty comfortable, plus my friend's family really did need the bed. I think there were three sharing a single mattress on the floor. Looking back I think my parents also gave them extra money on the side because their mom and grandma always gave me a big hug when I came over to play and asked how my parents were doing.
Overall I think my neighbors just thought my parents were eccentric, but nice, people.