I called Pennsylvania Department of Aging

I know I can not talk any sense into my Mother so I called the Pa. Department of Aging. It was tough but I explained why I was calling, was put on hold four times and the pleasant but clueless young lady basically told me that if my mother is aware of her health and circumstances and chooses not to do anything about it there was nothing they could do to help. She indicated that I may want to call the Board of health and report her. I will not settle for her answer and will call back tomorrow and get someone else on the phone and explain the situation. The perfect situation I am hoping for is to get someone with authority and compassion to talk to her. Someone outside of the family. Do you all think this is the right step?

COH & ACOA Joined: Jul 22, 2006 Posts: 1957 Location: Cabo

From your Introduction post , to refresh members on your details...:

Quote:

My 77 year old mother is a Hoarder and I recently moved back from south Florida because my younger brother could not take the pressure and the shame any longer on his own.

I really don't know how to turn things around at this point, I have basically been disowned for trying to make things clean and orderly. I do admit I have lost my temper with her and thats wrong but its so upsetting to see our baby pictures and death certificates scattered on the floor like they have no meaning.

To make things worse my Mother was scammed into signing a reverse mortgage where she gets 320.00 a month and pays 750.00 ever month in interest charges. It took 30 years to pay off the house and she has basically in the last nine years spent every red cent on dollar store crap and thrift store clothes.

It gets worse...she has a boarder in the house who was evicted from his home because of the filth and mess he was living in.

It gets worse, my older sister , who although I have not witnessed this , is also a hoarder and is backing my mother up to keep the status quo. My younger brother has seen her home but not in several years, and the last time I came up to visit she refused to let me in the house.

I am in deep and I have tried on my own, I could easy walk away but I know there is an intelligent loving woman in there somewhere, I just don't know what to do.

hejira,
I have NO idea if this will be helpful at all, but an idea is to call the place below closest to you, (if you are making inquiry calls anyway) and see if they know of any social workers in your area that are knowlegeable about hoarding and these types of cases, that might be a first step in contacting your mom? *Just* an idea, and not sure if a good one, but these Foundations know about hoarding and may have some contacts in your mom's area?

Hope this helps and I'm sorry for the frustration with clueless people on the phone-I've run up against that as well ("oh, you mean she's just a harmless packrat?" ) and I get so irritated I want to start a huge campaign to educate every social service worker in my mom's entire state!!! Argh. I hope the person you speak with tomorrow is better than today.

-Donna

OC Foundation of Philadelphia
Ms. Theresa Cohen, President
Ms. Jene Beardsley, Co-President c/o AATC
112 Bala Avenue
Bala Cynwyd, PA 19001
(610) 660-0549
(610) 660-8266 (Fax)
Web site: www.philaocdgoal.org
Email: tzclilyanna@yahoo.com

OC Foundation of Western PA
Ms. Deborah Iannuzzi, President
Mrs. Elaine F. Davis, Ph.D.,
Vice President
1045 Merion Drive West
Mifflin, PA 15122
(412) 466-4688
Web site: www.ocfwpa.org
Email: ocdirections@verizon.net

Posted: Wed Jun 25, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: emailed

I emailed Ms Cohen

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:30 am Post subject:

I just got off the phone with The PA. Dept of Aging . First person I spoke with asked me how she could help , I said I wanted to talk to someone that could help with a hoarding issue, she stated that we have Plenty of experience dealing with that. OK good, so I was transfered to a young lady that was oblivious to any of the issues but I forged ahead. What they are going to do is call my Mom in 3 to 5 business days and set up an appointment to come out and speak to her about their services. I asked , knowing my Mothers suspious nature , how they were going to protray why they were calling, she said thru referral, I was good with that.
So hopefully she will take the appointment , she is not one to forgoe entitlements, and hopefully they will push her in the right direction.
God I hope I did the right thing!

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 11:31 am Post subject: ocd

sometimes I feel like I am obsessing about her ocd, is that common?

Active Member Joined: Apr 29, 2008 Posts: 303

I don't see how taking any action can be a wrong thing. It proves you care even if she is really ungrateful, on some level she knows that.

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:27 pm Post subject:

Quote:

I am obsessing about her ocd

Yes Hejira, and well put!

Posted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 12:41 pm Post subject:

ok , I am taking a break from OCD until I get the rundown from the state, will touch back and let you all know what happened, thanks for your support and undertanding

Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject:

no word from the OCD fondation yet,maybe she is on vacation....

Valued Member Joined: Jul 30, 2007 Posts: 18

Hang in there Hejira, you are doing the right thing. I'm glad you're looking at all options available to help your mother. Try to be patient, I keep telling myself the hoard didn't happen in a day, so it can't be fixed in a day. A long time goes into building hoards... It's going to take some time, just stay the course. I have a feeling you will! Take advantage when you have some down time for yourself, otherwise you'll exhaust yourself. Remember - you have a whole team of friends here for you. smiles, reba