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Compulsive Hoarding
Is A Family Problem
Together, we hope to find some solutions.
This is a community for all adult family members
and friends of people who hoard.
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| Family Community: Welcome To Our Discussion Forums |
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| Author |
Message |
Lazarus
Valued Member


Joined: Jul 16, 2007
Posts: 26
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Posted:
Tue Apr 08, 2008 12:12 am Post subject: Interesting as relating to CoH |
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http://health.msn.com/health-topics/adhd/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100191637>1=31001
This article took my notice. It's about 'ADHD' and trauma in children's lives. When I was growing up as a CoH, nobody had heard of ADHD or ritalyn. I was one of these kids - 'hyperactive'. 'Strong Willed'. I was a juvenile delinquent, until I caught a break. Then I enlisted in the Navy, a high-school dropout, requiring my parent's permission to enlist at the age of 17. I started boot camp about 6 weeks after my 17th birthday. Anyway, something that struck me about the article was the mention of 'hypervigilance'. Years ago, back in '00, I had been in therapy for about a year. I was trying to come to terms with depression etc. and my family issues. One thing the therapist brought up was that he thought I am hypervigilant (true, everyone I've ever known sees it in me). At the time, it was assumed it was because I am a veteran - I served two tours in the Persian Gulf in the early 90's aboard the USS America. Out of the two years I spent on the America we were at sea for about 18 months. I've been out of the Navy since '92 and I'm still hypervigilant. I still have a reaction when someone knocks on the door unexpectedly, and that has nothing to do with my military service. Reading the article, I can't help but wonder if I've always been hypervigilant and my experience in the service only served me well. When I was in the service I was described as 'a natural leader'. I won awards and medals, being an example for others. I really was hypervigilant, but not because of my training. It seemed natural because
I grew up that way
. At long last, I am going to face all of this down, growing up a CoH in a well-to-do neighborhood, the beatings from my father etc. I simply won't go on with these issues, it's no way to live. Anyway, please read the damn article and share your thoughts on it from your perspective. Thank you.
Danny |
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Lazarus
Valued Member


Joined: Jul 16, 2007
Posts: 26
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Posted:
Wed Apr 09, 2008 11:20 pm Post subject: |
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Well, does anyone have any ideas as to where I should start? |
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What2do
Active Member


Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 202
Location: Indiana
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Posted:
Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:00 am Post subject: |
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Hi Lazarus,
The military loved me too. (Army, 81-85, 87-98, early retirement, Thank You, Bill Clinton)
I joined at 21 going on 30. Had been dealing with adult issues since I was about 11, so they didn't have to raise me. I was logical, practical, followed instructions, and any emotions I had were buried so deep they would never have to deal with them.
I haven't processed the whole article yet. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone, and the military didn't make me either. I was
"disciplined"
when I joined. |
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What2do
Active Member


Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 202
Location: Indiana
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Posted:
Thu Apr 10, 2008 12:02 am Post subject: |
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I'm struggling with trying to compare those 2 very different worlds... when they were so different. I hope you know what I mean. |
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dl1972
Active Member


Joined: Oct 12, 2007
Posts: 67
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Posted:
Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:07 pm Post subject: |
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Hi Lazarus,
I taught school for 7 years. Raising my son now.
I taught elementary school for a few years, and then high school math. I totally agree that the ADD/ADHD is way over diagnosed and always medicated even though there are diet and behavior modifications that have been shown to work in some cases.
I have been so frustrated with parents who would be looking for a "quick fix" for their kids, wanting me to agree that they had ADHD symptoms.
I can think of 5 or 6 kids off the top of my head that everyone assumed were ADD, but looking back the trauma could have been the main cause. The ones in foster care are the most obvious. Also, the ones who had a parent or a sibling die.
If I sat and thought a while, I am sure I could come up with many many more of my students who would have benefited from the system having less of a cookie cutter approach on this issue.
Perhaps also just as frustrating is this, the administration was prohibited from telling teachers anything about the students. Even things as life threatening as severe peanut allergy. Privacy issues or something. So, teachers are in the dark unless they have the desire and the ability to get the students to open up a little. Like that happens very often with a student who has been traumatized!
Personally, I was the perfect student in school. I think I was trying to earn love by producing perfect grades. |
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Lazarus
Valued Member


Joined: Jul 16, 2007
Posts: 26
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Posted:
Fri Apr 11, 2008 2:52 am Post subject: |
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Wow, thank you. I'm uncertain as to where to start with all of this. I'm only now really facing my past.
What2do, I do understand what you mean in comparing those very different worlds. I struggled with that my entire time in the military, and still do. I know what you mean when you say, 'they didn't have to raise me'. |
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Lazarus
Valued Member


Joined: Jul 16, 2007
Posts: 26
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Posted:
Fri Apr 11, 2008 3:01 am Post subject: |
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| dl1972 wrote: |
Hi Lazarus,
I taught school for 7 years. Raising my son now.
I taught elementary school for a few years, and then high school math. I totally agree that the ADD/ADHD is way over diagnosed and always medicated even though there are diet and behavior modifications that have been shown to work in some cases.
I have been so frustrated with parents who would be looking for a "quick fix" for their kids, wanting me to agree that they had ADHD symptoms.
I can think of 5 or 6 kids off the top of my head that everyone assumed were ADD, but looking back the trauma could have been the main cause. The ones in foster care are the most obvious. Also, the ones who had a parent or a sibling die.
If I sat and thought a while, I am sure I could come up with many many more of my students who would have benefited from the system having less of a cookie cutter approach on this issue.
Perhaps also just as frustrating is this, the administration was prohibited from telling teachers anything about the students. Even things as life threatening as severe peanut allergy. Privacy issues or something. So, teachers are in the dark unless they have the desire and the ability to get the students to open up a little. Like that happens very often with a student who has been traumatized!
Personally, I was the perfect student in school. I think I was trying to earn love by producing perfect grades. |
Thank you dl1972,
It's amazing how things have changed with regards to teachers, students, and the community. When I was a boy in the 70's, everyone watched out for each other - it was a matter of course. Our teachers would discipline us, our neighbors would discipline us and then our parents (well, that was the norm lol, if you know what I mean). Some of the teachers I had during those years are directly responsible for showing me some direction and hope. I still think of them fondly. Who knows how bad it could really be if I didn't have them in my life. These days? It's parents and students against the teachers and pills, pills, pills. It's sick! Maybe we should be depressed, maybe we should be angry! I've realized that those emotions are totally conccurant (sp?) with our experiences! Feeling this way is normal! |
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dl1972
Active Member


Joined: Oct 12, 2007
Posts: 67
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Posted:
Thu Jul 24, 2008 12:20 am Post subject: |
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Hi Lazarus,
I saw a book that you might find interesting.
It is by Daniel G. Amen MD, called Healing ADD
Talks about extensive testing that really needs to happen before kids are just given meds for ADD or ADHD. Because depending on what part of the brain is involved, some meds could be counter-productive or worse.
Also about behavior modification that needs to go hand in hand with treatment.
So glad to hear (on another thread) that you are talking to someone.
Way to go!!
Keep taking care of yourself  |
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